I only learnt about masking this year. Story of a late-diagnosed autistic! As I read more about it, I realised I stopped myself from stimming and forced myself to stay through social situations to make others happy.
How I’m currently unmasking:
- Not forcing smiles or laughs.
Why should I do this to please other people? it's fake. It makes me drained. I deserve only to show genuine emotions and preserve my energy.
I can't lie; this has been my favourite unmasking tactic. It feels so fucking liberating!
- Saying no to plans without feeling guilty.
Fear of missing out can be a bitch, but I know what I can handle and what will drain me. If I'm already burnt out, I must preserve my energy and look after myself.
Plans come and go, but my accommodations come first.
- Using my headphones in public more
Am I being rude? I don't care. I'm overstimulated and about to melt down. Would you like to witness me accommodating to my disability or having a meltdown in public?
I used to find this embarrassing. I don't know why. I thought everyone would stare if I wore headphones in public instead of earphones.
- Stimming in public more
Stims on the outside of my bag clipped on (squishy) and a clicky stim inside my bag too. ALL of the stims! I love messing with them whilst I'm overstimulated in a busy store. It grounds me.
I love to shake my hands/arms out of excitement or other overwhelming feelings.
- Vocalising if I’m overstimulated and leaving places early instead of suffering
When I was unaware I was autistic, I would want to leave places early, and my family would be irritated by me. Which sucks. Since discovering I am autistic, I have been more vocal about leaving situations and putting my needs first.
- Not replying to 99% of DMS
Forcing myself to answer messages when I'm exhausted has been a real energy drain. I hate typing on my phone in the first place; I would instead leave a voice note. I have clarified on my Twitter bio that I am too burnt out for DMS.
- Choosing comfort over uncomfortable outfits and heavy makeup.
In 2023 I will accommodate more to my comfort when leaving the house. I mask with my hair and makeup to 'fit in'. This will be a cool journey to go on,
Of course, I'm not 100% unmasked or a guru of unmasking (yet)... haha. Everyone masks in different ways. These are personal to me and may spark some ideas for you.