Journal Entry #1 - A Preview

Journal Entry #1 - A Preview

Jun 13, 2021

Hey there!

So this marks the start of my journal writing in this space and just letting this out, while you get to see and read them. I didn't know if I even wanted to do this in the first place, but I just thought to myself, "I have a lot of things in my head and I, at least, want a place to let them all out. Why not make a journal out of those thoughts?"

The thing that scares me with this journalling is that -- even though I made this so you and I could feel a little bit of deeper connection -- I'm afraid that all the things I say here might be used against me in the future. I don't want that to happen and I don't even want to have a feud with someone in the first place. This is the reason why I have to make this journalling thing an exclusive perk to my supporters and members since as I become more and more comfortable in writing in this space, this space will be much more personal which I can't let just anybody read as I already explained what might happen.

Also, another thing why I wanted to make this is because you guys really won't see who I am -- I'm talking about face reveals. I am a Vstreamer and what is the point of choosing to be a Vstreamer and then somebody revealing your face to your audience? Why be a Vstreamer in the first place?

You guys might ask why DID I choose the Virtual Streamer path and not using my actual face. The answer is pretty simple -- I want to. That's right. There's no deeper explanation as to why I chose to become a virtual streamer. I just wanted to hide my face and use another persona instead to face my viewers. But let me tell you this: Daichi is just as real as he can be. The only thing artificial for Daichi is his appearance -- he's virtual. But other than that, Daichi is just me.

You see, I don't like showing my face into the camera as I have to check how I look like every 2-3 minutes because I get conscious of my appearance. I'm a very conscious person and it actually matters to me what people say about my appearance to so I don't really like showing my face when streaming -- facing the virtual world of random strangers dropping by. Maybe I also want to prove something just like a fellow of mine once said. She wants to prove that she can stream and build a community without showing your face and I respect that a lot. This opens up the world where audience would be liking you for you and not just because of what you look like. That's very different.

But really, it's really just my preference to choose being a Virtual Streamer as opposed to being an actual human being in front of the camera.

A lot of people in the Philippines aren't that much of fans of virtual streaming and I understand that and I respect their opinions. I mean, most PH VTubers are all influenced by the Virtual Streaming community in Japan and maybe they wanted to try it as well, or maybe they wanted to prove something too, or maybe they just wanted to be one without any further and deeper explanations. However, what pisses me off when certain audiences would want to ask virtual streamers to do face reveals or asks them why go virtual instead of showing your actual appearance in front of the camera. You know what, asking's not a problem. The problem is putting an emphasis on why did they choose to become a virtual streamer and convince them to be otherwise. That throws me off.

Really is a matter of preferences and, most of the time, it's none of your businesses what they look like and why they chose this path.

I guess that's one of the few things I have in mind that I've always wanted to write about. I have lots and tons of friends who are in love with watching Vtubers and they understand the do's and don'ts as an audience of a virtual streamer. Gotta respect that.

You guys might also be wondering the reason why Daichi's on a hiatus and I could say so much. Practically, I don't want to run our electricity bill here at home since I'm not the paying them -- I only pay for the internet and sometimes the water bill. That's like one of the real reasons why I am on a hiatus and it doesn't really mind me if I'll be losing a few engagements here and there because what matters to me is still making my presence known offline like -- hey, Daichi's still here and you can hit me up or something.

But 85% of the reason of my hiatus includes being burned out, sadness, getting tired easily, mental health, and having too many heart breaks. I have emotions too so these are all of the things I'm feeling right now and I've realized that streaming makes me put up a facade that I want you guys to see because my purpose is to keep you guys entertained not embrace with my own problems. During the first parts, I could do that and I had no problems doing so. But seeing how things have been taking a toll on my mental health, makes it hard for me to put up a better act of actually being happy.

More of those things when we get into a few more journal entries, but these are just the kinds of things you'll be reading inside my journal. It's not always going to be sad or ranting or calling people out -- hell, no. I told you, I want it to feel as if we're really close and you get to feel my emotions -- happy, sad, excited, broken, etc. -- and have some closures together as I write this. This makes you get to me, Daichi, better without having to hear my voice on stream or looking at my face.

I hope to closer with you.

Love,

Daichi

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