I know something of grief. In the winter of 2014, my sister and father passed away within 21 days of each other. My sister's funeral was the worst day of my life. I watched my dying father sit shiva 1for my dead sister, an agonising experience that shredded my soul.2
Grief is a universal human experience. The grieving process is not an illness although it can feel like one. Unrelenting as all sickness is, it can make the griever act as though they are ill; withdrawn, lifeless, lonely. Grief can also make a person feel angry and scared.
'A Song For Ria' offers a penetrating view into what it means to grieve, and then to heal. The novel is centred on Alison, a successful songwriter, whose actress daughter Ria has died from a drug overdose. Although both have a privileged life that few can relate to, the author Michelle Shine still manages to make them relatable and realistic; a difficult task and the mark of a gifted writer.
Alison is a complicated protagonist. At first she seems calm, grounded, and almost triumphant. The odyssey she takes in the book to reach this whole, healed state is harrowing. I re-read the introductory chapter after I finished the novel as it revealed how hard she worked to knit her soul back together again.
Is the Alison at the start of the book the person she was before Ria died or did this tragedy, and the grieving process, mould her into an entirely different individual? That these questions remained in my mind after I finished the book shows what a compelling writer Shine is.
While searching for answers to her child's death, Alison inadvertently heals herself and those around her. The forgiveness of others, and the forgiveness of the self, are subtle themes which run through the book; a humane state of being which is often difficult to achieve. Shine expertly shows how Alison and major characters, like her husband Harvey, journey towards this.
But Alison is no martyr to her cause. She is troubled, sometimes cruel, often unkind and selfish. Yet, knowing how grief can distort a person, I sympathised with her. For a parent to endure the loss of a child is one of the most devastating of all of human experiences. The complexity of Alison -gifted, loving, self-loathing, sensitive, passionate, callous and self-centered -makes for a captivating story.
Alison, with her flaws and her accomplishments, is so very human. Every reader will find her engaging in some way. Shine also explores that entangled, destructive, loving relationship between mothers and daughters. No mother can ever know her daughter properly. For Alison, this knowledge becomes part of her healing and acceptance of self. How boring and one-dimensional she would have been if she had been written as a selfless mother and wife.
This book is full of intriguing comparisons too, with Alison's journey taking her from rainy England to the blistering heat of Sedona and the coldness of New York, and then to the sinister, shiny fakeness of Hollywood. Alison is aware of her privileged lifestyle. The narrative offers glimpses into her life of luxury and her lavish home compared to the poverty in places like the Hopi reservation, where many live without electricity or running water. These contrasts give further depth to what it means to be human, creating a realistic reflection of the divide between deprived and privileged.
Shine brilliantly describes the creative process which serves to disrupt the relationship between Alison and her family. As a writer, I could relate to Alison's grumpiness and resentment towards anyone who disturbs her while she is engrossed in work.
The book is dotted with spiritual metaphors, which resonated with me. Grief scrunches the soul, causing the mourner to act out of character. Shine gracefully weaves in animal symbolism to reflect this very human experience.
Poignant quotes precede the beginning of each part, offering an opaque clue to the reader of what lies ahead. This clever technique was one of the reasons why I was so eager to keep on reading, the quotes piquing my interest in what was coming next.
I also liked the abundance of dialogue in the book. As someone who is always curious about what others say to each other, this kept my investment in the story going. I especially enjoyed the description of food eaten by the various characters, which sounded so delicious it made me want to break the fasting diet I am currently following.
Ultimately, grief is liberating. It leads the griever to seek truth,to cut away unnecessary debris, to halt all that does not serve; and to heal not only the loss of loved ones but other life wounds too. Like Alison, I also found that the grieving process allowed me to see clearly those who were my true friends and those who were not. This gripping portrayal of grief adds to the realism of the book.
Shine also digs deep into the human psyche, deftly sketching out all the characters. But despite the themes the book is not heavy going. The story is lightened by the spiciness of the characters, not one is without flaws, except perhaps for Sister, a friend of the Hopi shaman who Alison connects with to heal her grief. That the narrative flows so beautifully also softens the darkness of life explored in the book. Redemption, a human experience we all seek, is found at the end.
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1. https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/shiva-what-you-need-to-know/
2. https://www.cultureontheoffensive.com/on-death-and-grief/
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'A Song For Ria' can be pre-ordered from any good bookshop or click on the following links:
https://www.whsmith.co.uk/products/song-for-ria/michelle-shine/paperback/9781913062996.html
https://www.waterstones.com/book/song-for-ria/michelle-shine/9781913062996