Hey besties, I hope y'all are well! It's been on my heart to write about forgiveness. We often think about forgiveness in the lens of other people. The forgiveness that we often forget about is forgiveness for ourselves. It's really hard to forgive others when we haven't forgiven ourselves for the role we played, the things we allowed or did, etc.
Have you truly forgiven yourself? If it's a maybe, it's a no. And that's okay if you haven't yet. Along my journey I've carried a lot of shame. The one thing about shame is that it weighs you down and prevents you from accepting that you're human and you're allowed to make mistakes. Becoming kind to myself didn't happen overnight. I held a lot of shame for my mistakes before I even attempted to forgive. Here's what I've learned along the way:
-You can't shame yourself into loving yourself and your mistakes. You have to accept them.
-You are always growing and becoming. So even tho you may have done something you aren't proud of, mistakes don't define you.
-You are the only person responsible for giving yourself grace. So do it more often!
-Be honest with yourself about the role you played in other individual's pain. Accept it and own it for what it was even if it wasn't your intention.
-Remind yourself of all the amazing things about you. When we're in a shame cycle, we may tend to think we do everything horribly because of the immense guilt we carry. This is your reminder to put down things that aren't yours to carry and find peace.
Lastly,
-Learn to let go. Truly - let it go. Life will feel a lot more lighter once you realize you don't have to punish yourself. The lesson was more than likely punishment enough. You must forgive yourself above all else.
Xo!
Until next time,
Kee