Tania Kindersley
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Thoughts on Power.

Thoughts on Power.

Nov 28, 2022



I love working with my clients because they give me so many things to think about.  Sometimes, they’ll bring up something and I get wildly excited, because I really do know the answer. (There is still enough of the girly swot in me to be thrilled about knowing the answer.) And sometimes, there will be no clear, clean answer. Sometimes there will only be more questions. 

Sometimes, I think, we humans have to be brave enough to step into uncertainty or mystery, and live there for a bit.

This is not just because humans are complex and life is complex and there are very few simple equations which add up to the perfect number. I think it’s also because all of us are very different. What is simple and straightforward to me - writing a sentence, processing an emotion - can feel alien and strange to another person. 

Lately, the subject of power has come up. I confess it’s not something I’ve thought about consciously that much. It’s not one of my big words, at least not in human terms. I think of it with horses all the time. I have mares who were bred specifically for power, and speed, and strength, and I have a huge respect for that. Their great physical power has, in the past, alarmed me, when I was in the saddle. I could feel my body bracing against it, as if it were too much for my puny human frame. So I taught myself to open up to that power, to draw it into my body instead of bracing against it, to take it in and then feed it back into their bodies, as if I am completing a benign circle. That way, their power has somewhere to go and is not stopped and contained, which can lead to a pressure cooker effect, so that the lid blows off.

I think of their power when I’m on the ground too. Even when they are at rest, their mighty presence is palpable. It’s not just because they are half a ton of flight animal; it’s because they have other, mysterious powers, which I can learn from, which I can observe and absorb.

They have the power of authenticity, and of existing in the present moment, and of being themselves without doubt or question. These are, in my mind, superpowers, and I try to take them and test them out and see if I can adapt them for myself.

And this leads me to think of what power means, to me. The obvious societal definition is often to do with some kind of dominance - the swaggery world leader who brooks no dissent, the CEO who runs the company like a fiefdom, the heavyweight boxer who can lay out an opponent with one blow. 

Those powers mean nothing to me and are not remotely interesting. I’m fascinated by more subtle powers, ones which dwell in the light, not the darkness. I like the power to say no, the power to draw boundaries, the power to be generous. I think love is a spreading, high-wattage power. There is a power in stillness, or the ability to listen, or the willingness to apologise. There is a power in joy and enthusiasm and playfulness. 

There is power in the refusal to give up, or knowing what you think, or finding a passion, however obscure, and pursuing it. 

There is power in words, and using them well.

When I’m with my horses I think a lot about the power of connection, and softness, and trust. I try to learn the power of humility, which the red mare especially loves. She really hates it when I get a little too pleased with myself and tumble into the trap of hubris. She’s taught me too the power of patience, of flexible and open thinking, of being willing to be wrong. 

And now I should have some ringing sentence to finish all this up, to end with the blast of trumpets. I don’t have that. This is one of those thoughts which does not have a finite conclusion. It’s the beginning of a ponder which will last me all week. Other ponderings will join it. On they will go together, looking for a useful place to rest. 

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