My dearest friend:
I guess this is goodbye. I've been so scared of this moment since that night I stayed at your place after Vincent's birthday. Even before, when you walked me home and we had that talk about not wanting to hurt each other's feelings. I've had this day on my mind every time we've kissed, hugged, cuddled and laughed... to be honest I'm terrified of it at this very moment. Although I always knew we would have to part, it never felt so real, so freaking close.
This is not a usual letter, this is everything I've wanted to tell you and probably didn't. This is me confessing my biggest crime to you: I love you. And I've loved you for a while now. You have this strange and unexplainable power over people, besides being a healer, you are easy to love. Actually I think I figured it out quite early on our "relationship" (I know it's not a relationship, but how else am I supposed to call it?). Anyways, I figured out my feelings for you a long time ago. And every day that we kept going with this thing I've been falling deeper and deeper. But even though I sometimes got caught up in my heart, I always knew how it was going to end. It was going to end with a bittersweet goodbye, a long hug and the last kiss; and I am sure with a lot of crying in between too. But that's just me, so don't worry, I'll be fine. And that's also the main reason why I made the best of every little moment. I enjoyed so much with you, because those small things are the ones I'm gonna remember dearly.
The thing is, there is a lot of stuff I never told you, like that night I said "I love you" for the first time, I was really afraid of saying it because I know it's not that easy for you to say it, but keeping those words to myself wasn't letting me sleep. And then I realized love is not expecting anything in exchange, plus I was running out of time to say it. And I want you to know I do love you, a lot. And not because it is "easier" for me to say it does that mean I don't feel it as hard or real as anyone else. In fact, I dare to say that I have the ability to love on another level. When I say it I mean it. I love you with all my heart and the power of that feeling is unmeasurable and unbeatable. If I had the time I would remind it to you every morning when you wake up and every night before you sleep. But I can't, so this will have to do.
There is so much I want to thank you for...
With you I shared the most honest laughs and my darkest tears, I was never afraid of feeling or being in front of you. You never judged, you listened and repaired.
Waking up by your side is the closest to a miracle I've ever been. You really are a piece of heaven that brought so much light and joy into my life when I needed it the most.
You held my hand when I was walking through the darkness, you never let me fall. And there are no words to thank you for that. You can't imagine what it meant to me having you there. I got through my exams thanks to you, that's other thing I want to thank you for, you kept pushing me to be the best version of myself. I really believe I was my best version with you.
Ach Mensch... I could rewrite all the poetry in this world in your name. I could keep writing lines about you for a million years and wouldn't get tired of it. I really believe we had a lot of ink to write an epic love story, we just ran out of pages. And that's okay, love is also tragic, that's part of it's beauty. Isn't it?
I promise I'll keep in my heart every moment we shared and will never forget the amazing time we spent together. I'll keep your beautiful smile in my mind every time I feel down.
My only consolation for now is having you visit me in my dreams, because I'm sure your memory will be there hanging out every now and then.
I wish you the best of lucks and I believe you will achieve all your goals and dreams. Remember you can nail anything you do, you're the very best.
Hope you'll keep a sweet memory of me as I do from you.
Loves you with all her big heart (in a really small body),