Dec 31, 2022
13 mins read
Somatic Inquiry - Happy Solstice - Let go of EVERYTHING!
Somatics with Laura V Ward
Live Streamed on YouTube December 21, 2022
“Take Everything you are holding onto and throw it into the void. Happy Solstice.” Dr. Karuna Sabnani
Multitasking is happening but not by me, it's happening by the computer so hopefully, I can let go of this idea of multitasking and come into today which is the Solstice. So, Happy Solstice. I was really inspired by a friend of mine, who's a naturopath, who I haven't seen in forever, and this is what she said on Instagram today and I felt like this was such a great directive and it is, “Take everything you are holding onto and throw it into the void. Happy Solstice.”
I think a lot of times in meditation we have this idea of letting go of the gripping and then certainly in movement practices we want to let go of the tension patterns. So the invitation today is to let go of anything that we think we know so we make space for what's actually really there.
Let's just take a couple of breaths. I'm going to talk a little bit about predictive processing also. So as we're coming into a landing, feeling into our bodies in this moment right now, inviting ourselves to let go of whatever came before or whatever is coming next, and just land right here. Maybe some sound and some breath, a big sigh AHHH.
Yeah, so to be able to let go is to step out of the plan in a way. It's to step into what is actually happening. What am I actually feeling? And this aligns with this idea of predictive processing which is a sort of brain model that we use to–our brain predicts what we think is happening before we actually read the stimulus or there's some kind of combo. What we're offering is that we let go of that and come into the sort of motor babbling place where we aren't–we don't know, we don't have a plan. We're letting go of the plan to arrive in what's actually happening. So often when we come into anything we sort of have an expectation of what's going to happen. This moment is to invite us to let go of any expectations. And just ride with curiosity about what's really there? What are we really feeling? What's actually happening? What is going on? As soon as I think I've patterned out a plan of what's going on I want to let that fall away and just let it drop. So it's almost like if there's the screen of awareness happening, as soon as you create the movie let the story fall away and just come into being being present with yourself in this moment, in this body, allowing sensation to bubble up. If you start to attach a story to it, just let it go if you can. If the story is sticking out, if it's really grippy that's fine too, you can also accept it.
So we can throw things into the void and actively get rid of it or we can just allow things to be there and go, “oh, that's there.” So it's just a suggestion. It's just an inquiry and it's just an offering. Nothing has to happen in any way, shape, or form. It can be anything. It can be whatever is arising for you right now. So, tuning into your interoception, feeling what it feels like to be inside your body. And today–so for myself, I feel like, to really start to know sensation right now, having some hands-on, letting my hands move without a plan around my body just to have that extra bit of touch. I can feel from the outside and the inside. And as my hands are landing in these different places without a plan I'm giving myself the chance to feel them land before they move somewhere else. So there's a feedback loop from both sides of it. I can feel the touch and I can feel what's underneath my hand.
So inviting that in and if you feel like, “oh, I go from my feet and then I do my knees and then I
do my hips,” change the order. If there's some plan that you have, change it to something else. Let it go. Just tuning into sensation, noticing what happens when I change the plan, what happens when I let go of the organized structure that I'm working with and let myself come into more of a free fall of being, free fall of noticing, free fall of presence with myself. Allowing movement to bubble up.
So let's encourage maybe some–even if it's just micro movement–let's encourage movement to come into the game, come into the moment. And as soon as you feel like you've made a plan–or maybe it's just your awareness traveling around inside your body–that's fine too, that can be the movement, it can be the movement of your awareness. Or it can be motor skills and moving, gross motor movement, embodied octopus movement, any of that stuff. But as soon as you feel like you've kind of got a plan and a choreography formulated, or where you're going next, see if you can change it to somewhere else.
You could imagine that you are like a piece of seagrass in the water and the water is moving you. You don't have the control of it. So letting go of some of the holding of control and allowing the bubbling up of awareness and presence to sort of babble along, right? Babies babble as they learn language, brooks babble, letting your body babble in movement, allowing this unfamiliar to bubble up, right? The program is held in the pattern. If we want to grow and evolve we want to start letting go of some of that programming and patterning so we're just opening up. As soon as you feel like you've found something, let it go. As soon as you feel like you've gotten onto one of your tracks, fall off the track. So this can be very active or it could be very much just awareness dancing around inside. If you're a very moving person, if movement practices are big for you maybe less is more but if you're a very meditative person, and there's more stillness practice, maybe start to play with the movement. Playing with the unfamiliar and inviting in the bubbling up of any kind of sensation and then as soon as you feel like you've found patterning, let it go.
If you had no idea what was possible, if you had no prior story of being, what would you do? How would you feel? If you were really just dropped into this moment right now. No need to interpret it with any story but just to be in the flow of it all.
Sometimes letting go of something is just the act of opening your hand, or opening your heart, or opening your mind, opening your guts. Sometimes it's just that, just letting go of something, right? So it could be that, very easy–just letting it go. Or it could also be the more active throwing it into the void, offering it up.
And we could offer it up to any of the elements; burning in the fire, letting the air cleanse it, allowing it to be washed away by the water within your body, right? Even the movement within your body can wash things away. Or allowing it to be composted in the Earth.
And we could just imagine that we're taking whatever kind of sticky, grippy stuff or any kind of responsibility or imposition that we have taken on or taken in, just allowing that to come off.
Just for this little while. Taking off the backpack of other people's expectations or your own judgment, even of shame, even letting go of that. Oh, what if it's okay just to be in a loving space with yourself? Inviting that in. When we let go of the gripping and the holding the things we're holding onto, coming into a place where it's okay just to be, just to be you as is. It sounds kind of like a paradox ‘being you as is’ but allowing yourself to be present with this non-grippy newness, this babbling. Just inviting that in.
So let's add some sounds to it. I'm going to add non-vocal cord sounds AHHH, OOO, SSHHHH. Letting myself play with the shaping of the air inside my face, inside my throat, inside my lungs.
I’m allowing the sounds that I make to become the map and the soundtrack. So as soon as I think I know where I'm going, I'm shifting it around, right? So my song has no organized pattern.
And it may be very interesting to follow one small line of movement or energy or sensation in your body, or it may be very interesting to be very global. So feeling free to–and you might be moving back and forth with both of those kinds of focus happening–feeling free to go down the rabbit hole and if anything becomes uncomfortable come back to stillness. You can open your eyes and look around.
Noticing if there's anything you're holding onto and inviting yourself to let it go,
if only for a minute or two. Letting yourself motor babble, inviting the body to just learn in its own way, as soon as you feel like the mind is taking over, planning things out, let go of that, go somewhere different.
I'm going to share sound and we'll use some Geoff Gersh Ambient Fields
Letting yourself play in the sound and if you feel like you know where it's going, go somewhere different. Yeah, let yourself go into the darkest night, right? The longest night of the year. Let yourself move into that darkness even if it's light right now. Allow the imagination the freedom to play with being, right now. What is it like to BE right now?
Allowing awareness to be spacious. Allowing awareness to have infinite capacity of being, right? Of noticing. And as soon as you feel yourself, your own ego popping up again, just let it melt away, let it soften, let it take off the backpack of your rules about how to be and who to be and invite in new possibilities. Let go of the gripping hands.
When there is nothing to hold onto, where are you? Or who are you?
Giving yourself permission and freedom to move in any way, in any way that feels like
it's alive and vital, or to be in stillness and just let your awareness travel inside. Letting all the things happen, letting all the people be who they are without any need to change them. Just changing your own perspective, changing your own pattern by allowing yourself to notice it and then go somewhere different, letting it go, setting it free.
And the changes, even when you get into your pattern, it doesn't have to be a huge change, it could be the tiniest change. You could change your tempo, you could slow down, you could change some little bit of the space, some way that you're moving, you can just change the flavor. It doesn't have to be, you know, from day to night, it could be something small. We could experience the dusk or the dawn.
Inviting life energy into all the little corners and nooks and crannies of your body that might have been under looked or overlooked, under accessed, things that you might not think about very much, or sense into.
Even the smallest change can be a huge vast shift.
I just want to invite this idea that just came through, sometimes our nervous system unwinding can have all sorts of old crusty expressions in there that haven't come out yet, so just know that you always can stop whatever you're doing if it's too much or too intense. Like sometimes this sort of kriya-like tremoring can come up, like the work of David Berceli, all that shaking stuff out. Always know that ultimately you have control and that you can stop that and you can just go, “No, I'm not quite ready for that.” It doesn't need to come out like a an earthquake it can come out in gentle waves. Inviting your nervous system to unwind in whatever way feels good, in whatever way feels sustainable. So really, as you're letting go, as you're tossing things into the void, being very gentle and kind with yourself in that, giving yourself the time that you need for it.
One thing that I want to offer into the void for myself is all of my should-haves. I just want to let go of all of the should-haves and with them can go the rest of the shoulds.
Letting go of my resistance against the what is.
The what is IS what is.
Letting go of any need to change other people, and fix things for other people, or even to fix myself.
And letting go of my need to be special. I’m letting myself just be normal, just be whatever I am. It's okay.
Or even any need to succeed, letting go of that, throwing that into the void.
I’m just coming back to being in the as is. Finding what is curious in the moment of the as is, and letting go of my plan. And just trusting.
The more fluid I can be and the less tense I can be, the easier I can be, the more I can let go of things, the less tension, the less patterning that is locked in. Just giving it some spaciousness.
Ahhhh, being free with that. Then taking a few minutes to just let yourself settle in, either in stillness or with movement, allowing the processing to process. So much processing actually happens–not when we're doing anything but when we're just still, when we are sleeping. If we were doing theNSDR non-sleep deep rest. Just letting our body process. If it still feels good to move, feel free to move. If it feels good just to let things settle then let them settle.
And just one last invitation; is there anything that I can let go of that would offer some relief? Is there anything I can relieve myself of that I'm holding on to? Is there any outdated idea, or plan, or tension that I can just soften and let melt away. If there's some old pair of pants that just don't fit me anymore I gotta toss out.