This article talks about negativity bias in relationships and the fact that negative memories typically have more power than positive ones – this can be kind of dangerous when you're stuck with your partner all day, every day with all the time in the world to 'reminisce'!
So what happens now that spouses are staying home all day, and many unmarried couples suddenly find themselves quarantined together?
The peril facing relationships quickly became obvious to the pioneers of this new intimacy on the Diamond Princess cruise ship, where couples were cooped up for two weeks in their cabin during the ship’s quarantine.
Ellis Vincent, a retired airline executive from Australia, told a reporter that he and his wife, Kimberly, were passing the time by having long conversations during which she displayed a remarkable memory. “She is able to bring up every transgression I’ve ever had,” he said. “I believe she is not finished.”
We're fortunate at LemonAid HQ that we are used to – and enjoy – spending most of our days together, given we've consciously created the kind of lifestyle that doesn't require us to head off to an office for the day and only come back together for family- and together-time at the end of a long and stressful day. We also actively seek long and deep conversations with each other; we are thoroughly enjoying this opportunity to slow down and – though one of us might disagree with no escape in sight!! – continue our emotional work together.
“This is going to be a period of great growth for relationships,” says the anthropologist Helen Fisher, who has studied romance around the world. “Couples are either going to grow together or grow apart.” Therapists love to advise couples to create quality time for themselves, and now we have more of it than ever. Use it wisely—and positively.
How's your relationship coping with the lockdown and enforced 'together' time? Are you growing together or growing apart?