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for staying with the trouble

Mar 08, 2022

hello loves!

in my last email i asked if any of y'all had requests for things that i could offer and i was asked if i could provide some advice on burnout/ how to cope with living during these times as well as audio meditations. so, if there are specific topics you'd like me to address in a meditation, let me know by responding to this newsletter.

it may be a little while until i am able to get some meditations together so i figured that in the meantime i'd send out a list of things that are keeping me resourced and supported during this time.

i really want to preface this conversation with a note about expectations.

people often ask me about burnout, or self care, or how to cope during these [un]precedented times, and the first thing i usually say is lower your expectations. lower again. and, then lower them still. it's really not reasonable to expect yourself to be thriving as we live through an unrelenting opioid crisis, a global pandemic, ongoing state violence and what's on the menu this week? oh yeah, the threat of nuclear war. cool cool. c o o o o o l.

so please, lower the bar for what you expect yourself to be up to right now. and then if you're holding any non-dominant, marginalized identities, or doing carework for people in your community, then lower it all the way down to the ground. honestly, just let it go completely.

here's a helpful way to think about this: when you look back on this time 5, 10 years from now, what do you want to say about how you cared for yourself and the people around you? do you want to reflect on how compassionate and gentle you were with yourself, or do you want to remember how you pushed yourself beyond the point of exhaustion for no reason at all?

and, when we are doing all that we can to keep going and finding that we are still having a hard time, we don't try to do more we increase our supports! we add on external resources and start asking for help. if you're one of the lucky folks who are feeling resourced during this time, check in on your pals and offer whatever you can! community care isn't a luxury but a necessary part of survival my loves.

so, with all that in mind, here's some of what's been keeping me resourced during this time, and if you have a resource to share, respond to this message or drop it in the comments so we can all benefit!


i spend a lot of time these days hanging out in Carmen Spagnola's Numinous Network. there are courses you can access but what's keeping me going is the weekly drop in somatic practices. the network is accessible, social justice oriented and affordable. she's also got a bi-monthly drop in for folks with chronic illness and long COVID!  

Carmen + Holly Truhlar have been facilitating a monthly, drop-in grief circle that is free to attend. the next on is this week on Thursday, April 1.

Shauna Janz has also started up an online network with all of her offerings, her work is primarily focused on grief and ancestral healing. https://www.sacredgrief.com/ 

Join Rachael Rice's Patreon for just $1 a month and have access to all of her amazing writing on the relationship between grief & white supremacy. https://www.patreon.com/rachaelrice 

follow @JenLemen on instagram, her writing is a balm for the soul and she facilitates co-napping sessions and weekly drop-in sessions on zoom where folks gather to say metta together

sign up for Kelly Diels' Sunday Love Letter to receive weekly fortification from a feminist perspective

Shohreh Davidoo sends a weekly newsletter called the Queer Agenda that is all about tools, strategies and encouragement to help queer folks experience more self-trust in a world that is hostile to our identities.

similarly, consume all the writing by MaryBeth Bonfligio in her Notes from A Farmhouse letters 

if you've got a great resource to share, drop it in the comments! i'm sending you all so much strength, softness and tenderness in these times. xo.

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