So I was scrolling through tik tok today and I came across one of those what I do in day/ get ready with me videos. (I hope you know what i'm talking about lmao) and it's this lady basically showing what her day is like as a SAHM. She had some pretty cool stuff going on if you ask me. I mean this lady ate three times, got a work out in, and what I was most impressed by was she did all this and from what I saw her baby made it to bedtime ALIVE. I'm watching this video like yes girl YOU BETTER GOOOOO!!! So of course I HAD TO I head to the comments because I just knew people shared the same energy and I was even going to comment like girl you are killing it! But to my surprise people are going IN on this lady!! "it's easy to eat like that when you don't have to work" just stuff like that. I keep scrolling and I see her reply basically like "these comments are so unkind to SAHM's who are home alone with an infant for 12 plus hours a day with essentially no time to themselves with a person who can't even talk back to them." I'm reading this like EXACTLY!!!

I think the culture around being a SAHM just completely discounts not only our hard work but our experience and really leaves very little room for us to talk about how hard it is without worrying we sound ungrateful.

So...Today I am going to complain no disclaimers...No "But of course i'm grateful" No "but I do love my son" NONE OF IT so here we go...

I wake up and bust out a full 12 plus hour work day and that is generous because I have not clocked out since I started. So I bust out a 12 plus hour work day and my colleague although very cute NEVER pitches in and get this... HE IS MUTE. That is right I just talk to myself all day lmao. Some days it feels like my days bleed into each other and since this lifestyle requires routine and structure the spontaneity that I enjoyed as a woman without a child that made feel so alive is pretty much non existent. My day is consumed by what is needed from me with very little time for what I NEED from me. Most days it is literally impossible to choose me and when it is possible Most times I feel guilty about it (Working on that)...I struggle with resenting the freedom my partner has and the sacrifices he hasn't had to make physically and emotionally. I want help but have a hard time accepting it because I like the way I do it best (Also working on that). On top of all that I AM REALLY FREAKING BORED. I get up and my life is limited to the same rotation of possibilities I mean my GOD it's like a fucked up magic 8 ball or something. How many times can someone wake up and do the same thing without actually losing their freaking mind.

Now that that's out lmao...YES I am grateful to be home with my beautiful baby boy. YES I LOVE being a mom. YES this shit gets boring!! NO I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.