Aug 12, 2021
This has been a busy couple of weeks... I've spent a lot of time in the company of other people, both in person and online. But Liz, online isn't really interaction how can that affect you? You ask... but it IS interaction. My thoughts, and feelings are just as engaged, sometimes moreso. But all of that engagement wears me down. That's when the other part of my brain that can't sit still, hates how I look, wouldn't mind jumping off a building onto a busy city street, or cries for hours for no real reason takes control...
I'm vulnerable in so many ways... and I abhor vulnerability. People talk about self‐care, which really just sounds like masturbation in my mind, and they talk about taking a break to rest and relax, a little R&R... I have to do that far more frequently than many others. It does help, but sometimes it's too little too late.
I like being alone. It is soothing.