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Under the impact of the health crisis, relationships have the space of passion and care to deter the risks of contamination of partners by the coronavirus..
In one of the most admired novels in world literature, “Love in the time of cholera”, by Gabriel García Márquez, the feeling that obsessed the protagonist Florentino Ariza with Fermina Daza flourishes in a time of many difficulties after the cholera epidemic that ravaged the Caribbean in the 19th century. The couple only found a happy ending in maturity, a demonstration of the strength of the passion that brought down challenges even imposed by medicine.
With some similarity in today's Brazil, cornered by COVID-19, couples who, as in the classic by García Márquez, met in a scenario of health crisis demonstrate that with love they are winning their daily battles under the effects of the virus.
The obstacles began at the first meeting for administrative assistants Gabriela Duarte Almeida, 23, and Arthur Eduardo Teixeira, 24, who came together through social networks, in the most closed period of social distance recommended in combating the dissemination of the coronavirus. They study economics and saw themselves for the first time when the world still seemed normal, at the university where they study.
Before the dating materialized, the contact lasted for months only on the computer and cell phone screens, since, with the departure of both of them to the interior of Minas Gerais, they lost their proximity. “We got to know each other through virtual conversations during this time. But now, dating has been like in the movies. We spend a lot of time together because of remote work, which in a normal situation would not be possible. And it's very beneficial, we know each other a lot and it ended up making up for the beginning when we talked only through the networks”, says Gabriela.
Fear of contamination also challenged entrepreneurs Fernanda Yasmin Jenne Jooplin Souza do Carmo, 26, and Letícia Lourenço Rosa, 25, but they were determined to live a relationship. Through a dating app they met when the pandemic was already scaring the world, still limited to China, and they saw the rapprochement and love being born amidst the chaos in Brazil. They followed the contact through social networks until they decided to meet amid the outbreak of cases in June 2020.
“I've always been very scared, because I'm asthmatic and I work with food delivery. And when we decided to meet for the first time, all care was taken”, says Fernanda do Carmo. Under the glow of a full moon, Fernanda and Letícia agreed to spend the weekend together and from then on avoid traveling to meet. "We go out as little as possible, just so that we can keep meeting."
The internet also brought warehouse assistant Márcio Felipe Ferreira Barbosa, 23, closer to her boyfriend, motorcycle courier William dos Santos Almeida, 25. Despite the fear of respiratory disease, they came to the conclusion that it was worth giving love between periods a chance closing and reopening the city during the pandemic. The first meeting, however, was a little different than usual. “We met a few times in the car. Right after our first meeting came the flexibility and opening of non-essential trade”, they tell.
Taking preventive measures against the transmission of the coronavirus, Márcio and William claim that they learned to deal with each other and face adversity, with the passage of time, more calmly in relation to the fears and uncertainty of the current scenario in Brazil . “The coolest thing is that the ghosts of the pandemic didn't stop us from starting our story,” says Márcio. One of the decisions was to start going to some bars, without neglecting sanitary protocols.
Example
If new couples celebrate the success of coexistence, amid the restrictions that COVID-19 has transformed into a 'new normal', and in some cases they even consider having lit another flame in the bonfire of love, for married couples some barriers have emerged during isolation. The “eternal boyfriends”, as the entrepreneurs Dayanne Andrade, 32, and André Gomes, 36, define themselves, saw their professional lives join the couple's coexistence in one space, a routine that shook their relationship, who have been married since June 2017.
“We spent 24 hours a day in the same place, and the professional side came to overtake the personal. Even working with sexual re-education and healthy dialogues, it was essential to seek the help of a couples therapist to help us separate the personal and the professional again”, says Dayanne.
They then regained their balance, believing more in each other's support. “We created more dialogues, talked more about our lives and this made a lot of difference to the relationship, as we live a 24 hour life together”, highlights Dayanne. She and André had the internet as cupid 14 years ago.
push
The pandemic posed greater difficulties for meetings and beginnings of relationships, but it also helped and gave a good stimulus to coziness, since, due to the need for social isolation, the practice of home office and long time at home, couples became approached. For lovers in construction, a huge dose of intensity and depth was added to the relationship. “We didn't know each other going out to one place and after a while we started going to each other's houses”, says Fernanda do Carmo.
“We jump straight into intimacy, living with each other, relating, things that with dating and getting to know each other slowly goes slowly. We were already intense. And to make it work, as there is no way to go out and meet the few, it's only indoors. We talk to know and do what the two want, we like similar things, to see the day, have a beer, cook, watch movies, watch series, play games”, observes Fernanda.
Gabriela and Arthur also experienced this intensity. But, it took a while for the approach to reach that level. “We got closer, more companions”, says Arthur Teixeira. With William and Felipe, as Márcio is more called by his friends and also by his partner, the premise was the same. No wonder, with almost a year of dating, they decided to "gather the brushes". “The chemistry is strong from the first meeting. Everything flowed very well, until we got to the point of living together. Dating in quarantine required greater preparation, since we are all psychologically shaken. But, the biggest benefit we have is the company of each other, we know each other better and we build something more real”, says the motoboy.
romance day
Today, couples must celebrate Valentine's Day in an atypical way, since the love in covid-19 times will have to be celebrated away from the crowds and taking care to preserve the other. At least in this sense, the celebration took on a more romantic air. However, creativity will have to speak loudly and reinventing has never made so much sense.
In the joy and stress of medical shifts
Exhaustive hours of work, stress and great exposure to the risks of contamination by the coronavirus did not affect the relationship of health professionals heard by the State of Minas. “We complemented each other and balanced ourselves to succeed in the midst of chaos”, says cardiologist Diogo Umann, 37, married to dermatologist Marina Sathler, 36. Together since 2004, they say they rely on a more pragmatic view of women. Marian's things, combined with Diogo's impulsiveness, who chose to contain this way of looking at life by adopting the caution that a pandemic requires.
“Amidst all this, our bonds of love are even stronger. We are more united, talking more and listening more”, says Diogo, considering that the relationship with Marina has strengthened, despite the difficulties that the health crisis imposes. Living the harsh routine of hospitals, pediatric orthopedist Bruno Azalim Bastos Barbosa Mendes, 32, partner of dermatologist Ana Vitória Ribeiro Perrecini, 30, since 2010, even though he was afraid, he did not leave the pleasure of being in her company.
Their story is similar to those movie scripts where couples actually find it hard to get together. Bruno and Ana Vitória started dating in August 2010, but only decided to live together at the beginning of the pandemic, after giving up on the wedding ceremony. “It was a very stressful time. We were already engaged, and we ended up getting closer and started to live together”, says Ana. Involved in frequent shifts, they adopt strict social distance, but they still enjoy moments of rest together.
The pandemic changed the proportion of senses and daily activities, including love, according to the behavioral psychological Leonardo Morelli. “Love is not just about joy and happy times. On the contrary. To love is to be able to share our pains, fears, anguishes and sufferings with others. It is knowing that there is always someone around and that as difficult as it may seem, we are not alone. Knowing that we have someone to walk with us makes this path less difficult”, he teaches. (JM).
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