Singles on the track.

Singles on the track.

Jun 14, 2021

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The emotional and sexual lack in quarantine has caused the growth of virtual love. Isolation boosted the use of dating apps and made life easier for lovers..

Because of covid-19, the recommendation of health authorities is to stay at home and maintain physical distance to reduce the spread of the disease. But the isolation period can have emotional and psychological impacts, especially for those who are single and feeling lonely, far from loves, friends and family. With this feeling blossomed, the search for social networks and dating apps increased.

The flirting platforms, however, began to discourage meetings during the pandemic. But, the virtual conversations continued. Between March and May of this year, the website Par Perfect had a 70% increase in registrations. A survey carried out by the company, with 1,200 users, revealed that 61% of them believe that people are talking more during this period. Out of the pandemic situation, of the 1,200 interviewees, 51% believe that they talk about 1-2 weeks before going out on a date and 27% think that 3-4 weeks is enough to schedule something.

According to psychologist Talitha Nobre, humans are sociable beings by nature, as they depend on each other. ;This is a moment of great distress and we need to relate, as it is cultural: the touch, the warmth and the exchange of affection. The fact that this has not happened has created a lot of unease, she says. She explains that people have found, on the internet, a way to alleviate these distressing feelings.

Many people were already looking for the virtual to interact in a casual or loving way. But now the behavior has taken on a greater proportion. ;It helps to reduce the negative impacts of isolation. However, there is still an emptiness, which is the lack of touch, embrace, the real, the intimate, among others; analyzes the professional, who graduated from Universidade Veiga de Almeida (UVA).

According to her, there is no cake recipe to deal with this situation, as each one is unique. ;Self-knowledge can help, take care of yourself and keep yourself on the ground. There are people who learned new things and others went back to doing what they didn't do during the quarantine.;

More time, more Tinder

Public employee Adrienne Lima, 25, says Tinder was just a hobby, an app she used to open when she had nothing to do. Now, with no programs with friends, no parties to attend, the idle period is longer and she ends up spending more time on the app. ;Tinder isn't an app I can really relate to, but when I'm bored, I check it out. Now I have more dull moments, consequently I'm more there ;, she says. According to her, the behavior of single friends is similar to hers and the dynamics of chats in the app has changed. ;Before, they talked a little and already wanted to meet. Not now ;, she reports.

She says that some try to arrange meetings. ; Some even put it in the description; is it with you that I'm going to pierce the quarantine?; Others want to leave it for later ;, she reports. Adrienne admits that she found someone. They went out into the open to watch the sunset and wore a mask the entire time. She doesn't plan to do it again. What she has enjoyed most, currently, is the opportunity to talk to people outside the country, through the passport function, released by the application during this period. ; Who knows, after everything is over, I'll take some trips?;, she jokes.

Filipe Colucci, 24, lives in the cyber world. ;I am a totally virtual person, I use social networks to chat and interact;, he says. The young man explains that he has already used a dating app, such as Tinder, but found no one and chose to uninstall. ;It's a solution for those who feel alone right now. I'm looking forward to downloading again and trying to meet someone, mainly because of the isolation. Sometimes I use social media too, but it's rare.;

The Ceilândia resident observes that it is necessary to be careful when relating virtually. ;You don't know who you're talking to on the other side of the screen and we can't fully trust;

Psychologist Talitha Nobre recommends keeping your feet on the ground and not creating expectations about virtual relationships. ;In the distance interaction, there can be an illusion of who is on the other side of the screen. That's where the frustrations come if they don't live up to expectations, she says. One of the dangers of the virtual relationship is the idealization of the other person for not knowing him personally or not being able to live with him. ; Even living together there are chances of disappointment ;, she observes.

cybernetic eroticism

Victoria Regina Italiano, 23, noticed people's tension and anxiety about sexuality during the quarantine and decided to use social media to help them. ;I created a blog and an Instagram profile during isolation. Their goal is to provide poetic, lyrical, erotic and free content; she says, who is a student of letters at Universidade Brasília (UnB). The profile @piluladepoesia and the blog address sex and pleasure in a healthy way, with erotic stories and poetry without exposing anyone. ;The idea is that they help these people virtually to go through, through literature, with sexual feelings. This situation really messes with our minds.

Virtual sex and masturbation end up meeting the needs of those who are alone. Professors at Harvard University, in the United States, developed a guide with recommendations for a healthy sex life in the pandemic. According to the document, abstinence, masturbation and sex through digital platforms are the safest behaviors, but it offers tips for those who are not content with these alternatives.

According to gynecologist Ana Carolina Lúcio, with the reduction of physical contact, interaction and outings, the options presented in the guide are resources to replace sex. ;If the person feels comfortable, and there is no physical contact with anyone, it is a safer way, especially now, as well as helping to keep sexuality alive during isolation. The habit keeps the mind and body functioning, offering a series of benefits to the body; she explains, who is a member of the Brazilian Federation of Gynecology and Obstetrics Associations.

She believes there are several advantages to masturbation, such as improving libido, relieving menstruation-related pain, strengthening the immune system and even the muscles in the pelvic region. But, despite being a healthy practice, it is essential to be aware of excesses, as it can affect psychological and sexual health: ;A warning sign is if the practice starts to interfere with the routine.;

Pleasure is also a business

To help with masturbation, many people look for vibrators and other accessories. Juciene Alves Rodrigues, 29, has a virtual store (@boutiquedajurodriguesoficial) and says she was surprised by the profit in the quarantine. ;I started about a year ago in this market, with the objective of completing my income. Right at the beginning of the pandemic, I was scared: ;now what? It's over my business. But, it was the other way around ;, she claims. ;Couples are buying products such as lubricant, costumes and massage oils. And singles wasted no time! There are many applications for both male and female vibrators.

So close, so far

Quarantine has been a stepping stone for those who want to meet casually or for those in love. There are couples who are using social media more to talk and keep their distance. Others cheat the guidance to reduce homesickness. Pedagogy student Joyce Djane, 24, and computer technician Marcos Flávio Batista, 23, have been dating for four years and three months and have not seen each other in person since the beginning of the quarantine. ;The pandemic has changed our daily lives. Before, we would go to parks, the mall, the cinema and go to each other's houses; she says.

According to the young woman, they decided to move away to avoid contagion with the virus, mainly because they have people from the risk group at home, such as grandparents. ;Without a doubt, homesickness bothers a lot. Mostly when we think we're a few feet apart, she says.

They live in Ceilândia, on the same street, in houses facing each other and, even so, they cannot be together. ;With the government's determination to enact the adoption of social isolation, we decided to keep a distance until the pandemic and the contamination rate normalize;, says Marcos.

To get around the isolation, the couple tried to talk through a messaging and social networking app. ;It's quite difficult to stay away for so long, I miss it a lot. We use the internet to interact, play games, watch movies, talk and keep our minds healthy and get away from the news a little bit, says Marcus. According to him, the quarantine strengthened the relationship. ;The basis of it is a lot of unity, trust, respect and loyalty.

* Intern under the supervision of Taís Braga.

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