You are attached to your belongings. You are attached to success. You are attached to your partner.
You are attached to your ideas and your notions of reality and how it functions
(Ever wondered over the possibility that what you might have accumulated till now could have been a complete lie, or at least a good part of it can be?).
You are attached to your self image(these two are probably the biggest of them all).
Similarly, you need someone to love you. You need someone to revere you.
You need someone to caress you. You need someone to praise you.
You need someone to approve you of your perception about the reality of the situation, or even reality in general.
You need someone to quench your loneliness. You need someone to motivate you. You need someone to inspire you. The list can go on...
Notice that I'm not suggesting that you should drop all of your needs and attachments. This is not what I do. This is what deluded spiritualists do. This is what society tells you to do.
"Don't be attached". "Don't fall into the trap of this constant need". You must have seen such messages across various texts, or narrated by various speakers and accounts who preach "spirituality" or "truth" on our side of exposure.
In all honesty, such messages are disingenuous. Why? Because they are like instructions.
Human beings are not machines who execute instructions. Ask yourself, do you really become detached when someone tells you not to be attached, or you become one when you see it for yourself?
The truth is, that one becomes truly detached when he sees the extent of destruction that attachment has caused in his life.
A wise is he who "sees through the eternal loops of attachment", who notices how results become negatively impacted by this constant need and attachment.
See how one who plays for the love of the game beats one who plays because he needs the "win" or a "medal". Retrieval of skill becomes a breeze when one is not attached to the outcome.
Observe the reality, and if you are really sincere towards understanding truth, you eventually will.
One may ask. "Well what is wrong with attachment or need". "What is wrong with constant need"
The issue is that it keeps you blinded. It keeps you in an unnatural state. It is cataclysmic to your existence.
It creates anxiety, unnecessary expectation which when not fulfilled leaves you empty, brittle and hollow.
It induces suffering that is not worth enduring. It creates more and more problems. It keeps you away from discovering truth.
But don't take my word for it. Don't "believe" me. You must see this for yourself.
Do not assume anything. Assumptions are the breeding grounds for falsehoods. Verify everything that is being said through your own experiences.
Another key point that I would like you to keep in mind is that one must remain aware, attentive that he does not have this "image" of a person in his mind that is detached.
Many who pursue this journey end up having a self image of a person who is "stoic", who is not affected by anything at all in his life.
Realise that this is false. This is a very subtle self deception mechanism of the mind to keep you entrapped in its narratives.
If you "wear" the demeanor of detachment, it will soon slip off.
This is very much like how some people say, "look, how compassionate, gentle, sweet, altruistic, humble I am"
All lies. They are lying not only to others, but more importantly, to themselves and they don't even take notice of it.
Note how everything that you do, every action you take, is dictated by the need to maintain this self image.
Preservation of self image is really the greatest obstacle in your search for truth and a pure living.
The greatest takeaway here would be to not force anything upon yourself.
Everything discussed here must be pursued by the way of understanding.
The truth is, that detachment will arrive on its own accord when you are ready for it.
Your goal is to make yourself conducive for its arrival.