Maria Foy
156 supporters
Really Struggling ATM

Really Struggling ATM

Mar 01, 2023

It's no surprise to anyone that sometimes even the smallest of things can derail me. Life at the moment feels really really hard.

At the beginning of the year, the start to the school year was delayed by a week because of the floods. Although I had anxiety around this time (because Chloe was starting a new school), I had still mentally prepared for the day when they went back. So when that changed, I was kind of thrown into a spin.

Then school started, Cyclone Gabrielle hit, and the kids had more time off. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, as it was only for a few days, but sadly my son has been having issues with his class at school.

He hasn't had the stability I had hoped for, so the delayed start to the year, plus extra days off, has meant that his year has been all over the show.

Chloe's been fine, but Ronan's really been struggling; and it plays on my mind a lot.

I can't go into too many details as it's not sorted yet and I don't want to shit all over the school - because I adore the school he goes to; but it's not good.

I'm having to advocate for him on a level I never thought I'd had to do. I'm proud to be able to do it, and I'll go to the ends of the world for my kids; but it's bloody stressful.

It literally plays on my mind every single day, and I often ask myself "what are you actually doing?!"

I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't know if I'm making the right decisions or not.

I talk to the kids openly about the decisions I'm having to make because I want them to be a part of the process, but ultimately I'm the one who makes the decision.

And the big question is - do we stay at the school, or do we change schools?

He has two years left at primary school and I can't leave those two years up to chance.

Like I said above, it's still being sorted out with the school so I may not even have to go down that route, HOWEVER, I have to consider it an option.

I have to think of Ronan's best interests and how best to ensure he has a stable, and caring, learning environment.

THEN on top of all of this, my kids start getting sick. JFC, it's only February, two months into the New Year; can we please not get sick this early on!?!!!!

Chloe gets sick, then Ronan gets sick, then Chloe gets sick again, then Phil gets sick, and now I'm sick (kind of recovering).

I'm also trying to figure out (still) where I fit into this space online, and how to keep this internet gig up and stay relevant. It plays on my mind constantly that I'm aging out of a lot of things.

I'm still a parent to young kids, but I don't share as much because of their privacy.

I'm also not eating right, not excercising like I used to, and just overall feel like I'm stuck.

It's all so bloody overwhelming.

Normallly I would just post this to my close friends, but wanted to open it up to everyone because I feel I haven't really been present on social media lately.

Everything feels so hard; like it's too much effort. So at times I just shut it off and don't use it. Which isn't like me at all.

I'm an oversharer all the time; except this time it's different.

Enjoy this post?

Buy Maria Foy a coffee

2 comments

More from Maria Foy