While rereading chapter eight of Book 3 in preparation for reading the narration, I had misgivings about the scene where Martin crews aboard Gil’s boat, Wendoline. At first, I didn’t like that I had the wind coming from the southeast. I described the weather as clear and mild. It’s more typical for mild-weather winds on the New Hampshire coast to come out of the west to northwest.
It was a bit tedious changing the descriptions of their sailing maneuvers to account for wind coming from the opposite direction. For instance, leaving the harbor, they would be running before the wind rather than tacking into it.
While revising all the moves and their nautical terms, I was reminded of comments some of my beta-readers made back before publication. A few of them said they got lost in all the nautical talk and had little idea what was going on. Did that part of Book 3 leave you a little confused too?
The rewrite for the change in wind direction made the action no clearer. In the narration, it might sound nautically accurate enough but it would probably be even less clear what was going on.
To be fair to my listeners (and readers), I decided that I needed to rewrite that section, not just for the change in wind, but to describe the action without the jargon — almost like subtitles. The dialogue would still need the sailing terms. Gil couldn’t credibly say “Hang a left.”
Gil still needs to say things like “Bear up,” but I think I need to include that the boat turned left, into the wind. Such descriptions should make it easier for readers (and listeners) to understand how Gil was laying his net to encircle the school of fish. Descriptions will help with the ‘rescue’ of the ferry MaryAnn too.
It’s kind of too bad that today is a beautiful day for working outside. I’ve got some rewriting to do!
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