Today, my heart is breaking.
Today is harder than the rest.
One of my friends, Aspen, and I had an eye-opening conversation today.
Anniversaries of chronic health problems are not any normal day. If anything, they feel like doomsday. Leading up to if for a week, sitting in anticipation. Then the day comes. It feels like doomsday times a hurricane. Now add in anxiety, PTSD, and so many other conflicting thoughts. It’s not a normal day for us. But boy, do we wish we could pretend it was.
My one year was 10 days ago.
Aspen’s one year was today.
Whirlwind of emotions, but an unbreakable bond. She has been my biggest support, my go-to, and all around just my favorite person to talk to. Best of all- she “gets it” in a way no one else will. That’s special.
Today my heart is breaking because my flare symptoms have been my daily symptoms for about 30 days. Flares and recoveries from flares aren’t this long for me. When they go this long…it’s a symptom here to stay. That sucks.
Pain and fatigue so bad that by the time I’ve made it to school I’m wiped. Driving home in tears everyday because the pain meds won’t even touch it.
It sucks.
More than anything, I wish I could have access to the things that would help me.
But life is unfair, so for today, I will accept it for what it is.
Tomorrow, I will wake up to fight these symptoms and emotions all over again.
Love,
Mikayla