There's always something about acknowledging how well one is doing. Like any moment now, things will start going south again. Idk if it pleases you or not but I am happy and healthy, it's the longest I've been since.
I thought about quitting social media for good. Frankly, it just doesn't work for me anymore. I would have already but i don't think there's any alternative platform for artists yet like ig.
The last few months had not been productive. The things that went on and are still going on leaves me feeling guilty and paralized and baffled by how good we've become at compartmentalizing. I stopped painting for a good amount of time, thinking my personal works are just waste of space and nothing but vanity and shallowness.
The last I worked on last May, I ended up destroying anyway because it's hideous. I tried experimenting with textures using modeling paste for a change. I hated it.
Also scanned all old works and sketches for archiving.
I just started painting again but it's only been building and breaking and rebuilding.
I'm making some skin studies again given the hard time I've been having on new pieces I'm working on right now. I've only made 1 and a half skin studies but i need to work on moooore until my works are satisfactory again. First try was alright, failed miserably on my second but will work on it again.
Then there's this. Forgot what it's called but I made it bc I interestingly suck at red.
I'm not sure if all this is rediscovering my process from when I actually love creating something or it's rolling back to zero masquerading as progress.
I'm alright and days have been warm so far but my little hopes and the uncertainty will always scare me.
So, do you think I should cut my hair short? Lemme knowww :*