Mentor in Alien Language Class

Apr 05, 2022

I was doomed to teach others since early childhood. Beginning with math classes for delinquents during my school days, followed by management and economics for my mates in college…and now I was standing right in front of my new boss.

I contemplated the ceiling. Being a mentor in a language class for aliens. That wasn’t my goal when I decided to join Intergalactic Forces. How did I even end up here?

Just a few days ago, I received the job offer right in my virtual chamber. Clouds in the sky formed the message. I thought it might be fun and proceeded with the application process. I had no real interest in taking the unknown position, just curiosity about where it might lead.

“And why do you think a human is fit to be the mentor?” I asked, looking into the eyes of my boss.

He looked back at me with his unblinking android eyes. When I first met an android in a superior position, I was a bit taken aback, but… Well, It’s easier to sever relationships with androids than with some humans.

“We need to teach civilizations we encounter about Earth. And who is the representative of the most archaic technogenic civilization of Earth?”

I rolled my eyes but didn’t have any valid argument. “So, whom I do need to teach and how?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not hard.” said my boss, with a mimicry of a smile. “There would be some insects and arachnids in the mornings, humanoids around midday, and some creminids—”

“What?” I blinked several times, trying to grasp what I just heard. I could let insects and arachnids pass, but creminids…

“What?” My boss looked at me, surprised. “You have something against creminids?”

“And how am I supposed to communicate with rocks and stones?”

“Oh it’s easy. One word per week will suffice-”

“Is there any sense to all this?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, there is. I once had a great conversation with an asteroid. It told me so much about galactic space. Best conversation I have ever had…”

“And how long, may I ask, did your conversation last?”

“Not long. Just millennium or two.”

I laughed, but my boss was being perfectly serious.

I looked through the window in my boss’s office. The darkness of space was lightened by small dots of distant stars. It seemed almost empty to a human’s gaze, but in reality, it was so crowded.

There were so many forms of life that could tell you how the world looked from their perspectives. Maybe being a mentor for an alien language class wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

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