There are some things I will never be able to explain to you. I can use any words and expressions to try, but you will still never know what it actually feels like. You will never really understand what it's like to grow up thinking you're kinda russian, and every time someone would call you russian, you'd say "eh, close enough", you will never know what it's like to feel frustrated that your culture is kinda bleak. No prominent artists or scientists or activists.... more

So I  keep wanting to write about something, and then I don’t have the time or the energy for it, and then another thing happens, and the first thing feels irrelevant to write about, and I procrastinate more, then the third thing happens, and now I’ve got two things I ended up not talking about, and it's snowballing, and I get progressively more discouraged... And now here I am not knowing where to start and what to do.I slept on the floor again today. I went to bed at... more

When I started this blog and tried to go back and recall all those very first days of the invasion, I stumbled on February 27, and I could not bring myself to write about that day for reasons I still don't fully understand. Let's see how much I can remember now, a year later.February 27, 2022:I remember that it was the first day I stepped outside, and I remember that I FORCED myself to eat on the days before for the one and only reason: to donate blood. I knew they wouldn't let... more