I am very tired.
We have so much going on. Now that people are used to the state of war we brought back old quarrels and found a few new ones. One of them is the language.
Ever since Russia said that they've come to protect Russian speakers from non-existent discrimination, more people have switched to Ukrainian and all the Russian speakers became an enemy to them. "It's because of YOU they came to our land!" - they say. Obviously, this is not true, the victim is never to blame, this is another method of informational war, the seed of animosity inside our community. Unfortunately, it's working.
I am a Russian speaker. Well, I used to be. I was born in a Russian-speaking family. My first words were uttered in Russian, I started studying Ukrainian at school when I was 6, and my teacher couldn't believe nobody in my family was talking Ukrainian to me, that's how easily it came to me (that's just me bragging how good I am at languages, nevermind that). Then when it was time to go to uni for me it was a question of "What do I want to do for the next five years?" And at that time I loved books. So I chose the Philological department. And within that department, I had to choose Russian or Ukrainian, and I chose Ukrainian simply because it made sense: I was in Ukraine after all. I focused on Literature anyway, and I learned English too as a second specialty (my uni is that badass), but I continued to speak Russian, and 95 out of 100 students studying with me also spoke Russian. And never have we ever had any problems with that.
After 2014 some of my friends switched to Ukrainian as a statement, and even though I admired it I didn't do it myself. My excuse was "Oh, I just speak to a person in the same language they speak to me, otherwise, it's hard for me to switch". Let's say it: I was lazy. But it did require effort. Odesa is a predominantly Russian-speaking city: my friends, and my family, and the cashiers in grocery stores, and all the people I meet every day spoke Russian. It had to be a statement I make every day every time I open my mouth. So I was lazy, and I did not do it.
Now that speaking Ukrainian is a patriotic statement and a lot of people switched to it, I feel much better speaking Ukrainian in my everyday life. I still switch back and forth sometimes, but I'm working on becoming a person who speaks Ukrainian and just knows Russian as a foreign language, just the same way I speak English.
However, this is my personal choice, and I do not support those who are shaming others for speaking Russian. I get the argument that it's the language of our enemy, but my belief is that right now, right this moment in this horrible war we are fighting for freedom. Freedom of speech and freedom of language is part of that. You can't fight for freedom and with the same breath forbid people to speak however language they want. Ukrainiazation has to be gentle, you have to make people want to speak Ukrainian, it's such a nice-sounding language anyway. I know we still have Russian sympathizers. People are literally hiding from Russian bombs and think Russians are doing the right thing. I don't know how crazy you have to be to have that logic, but I think they have a right to believe what they want. And we have a right to consider them crazy. Freedom of speech does not absolve them from responsibility for their words and actions, so I hope they're ready to meet the consequences of their words and actions, but yeah, they're allowed to have an opinion, and I'm allowed to disagree with that opinion. That's how a free society works.
I've been thinking about it a lot. Like, even now there are people who hate on President Zelensky. Well, they have a right to do that. Our job is to not stay silent, to make our personal stance known, to vote in elections, to argue online, to disagree in person.
Bottom line: the side effect of living in a free country is that idiots are also allowed freedom. Our job is not to take that freedom away from them, it's to make our own voices heard as well. You have to exercise your freedom. Go vote, go to protests, make posts online, speak Ukrainian to a cashier in the store, wear political merch, etc. Just make your voice heard, make your opinion known. Exercise your freedom.