Jan 28, 2023
3 mins read
(A picture will come at a later date)
In a golf club in suburban America, several golfers of varying skill levels are enjoying a warm sunlit day playing golf when a bald male clad in a pair of square-lensed glasses, a cyan long-sleeved shirt, a couple of cyan jogging pants, and a pair of white tennis shoes pulls up to the club's parking lot. The man became irate as he looked around at the patrons playing golf and pulled out his phone. But the moment he aimed the camera at the occupants, one of them with panes grey fur, blonde hair, and white stripes stops in front of the camera blocking the shot the bald man attempted to take of the club's patrons.
Rangetsu: Just what do you think you're doing here?
Bald man: Are you trying to defend this establishment frequented by cis-gendered straight white Christian men!?
Rangetsu: You didn't answer my question.
The voice of a middle-aged sepia-toned woman with short dreadlocks, a white polo shirt, a blue golf skirt, and a pair of white tennis shoes shouted towards the bald man as she walked toward him and Rangetsu in an irritated tone. The loudness of her voice startled Ron but had no effect on Rangetsu.
Rangetsu: You know this troublemaker Sophia?
Sophia: Yes, this is the immature manchild that weaponized Twitter to ruin the lives and livelihoods of thousands of men and women who just wanted to make a living and feed their families. He caused over one trillion dollars worth of damages thanks to his "Twitter Army".
Rangetsu: I see.
Rangetsu pulls out a cell phone from a pouch attached to his belt and looks up a contact on his phone simply named "CowCow Finance."
Ron: What are you gonna do, punch me a thousand times?
Rangetsu: The type of damage you caused isn't worth a Bakusaiga Tenketsu.
???: This is CowCow Finance.
Rangetsu: Mr. Ezaki, can I talk to President Ushijima? I have a potential client for him and her name is Sophia.
Ezaki: Of course, just hold for a few moments, please.
Rangetsu hands the phone over to Sophia as he leans to block Ron's attempts to "cancel" her golf club.
Ushijima: Is this Sophia speaking?
Sophia: Yes. I would like to make a proposition for you.
Ushijima: Do you need money?
Sophia: No, I want to sell the debt incurred through the damages caused by a man named Ron. He'll be the debtor in this situation.
Ushijima: Just so you know, we have a policy called "To-Go". In other words, we'll charge him fifty percent interest every ten days. Gambling debts, on the other hand, we collect daily with thirty percent interest.
Sophia: Honestly, I could care less how much interest you charge him. I'll sell you the one trillion dollar debt Ron incurred through his "Twitter Cancelation" crusade. That should value up to around one hundred thirty trillion yen. I'll sell his debt for about a hundred thousand dollars. You can charge him for the private jet round-trip and a vehicle rental as well.
Ushijima: Alright, I'll wire funds to you when I have a receipt for the private jet and vehicle rental.
Takada: A hundred thirty trillion sounds like quite the haul. But it's gonna be our toughest collection yet.
Ushijima: No matter Takada, I'll squeeze every penny out of him. Even if I have to chase down his cyber soldiers.
Rangetsu: Just give it up. It's no use trying to cancel this golf club. You should be focusing on how you're going to pay back the damages you've incurred right now.