I originally wrote this over a year ago (via my original Tumblr blog) with a female in mind, but this can also apply to men as well:
She’s going to be tired. Constantly. Don’t let her stay in bed all day. She’s not going to want to eat. Make her food anyway. She’s going to want to cancel plans just to go home and watch Netflix. Take her out dancing anyway. She will look like she’s not in the mood to be silly. Try to make her laugh anyway. She’s going to want to cry over spilled coffee. Don’t make it seem like it's not a big deal or that she’s being dramatic. She’s going to be happy and sad at the same time, and I know that sounds crazy but it’s the truth. She is going to need constant reassurance that she’s beautiful. Tell her. She is going to constantly need reassurance that you’re not going to leave her.
She isn’t doubting you or questioning your love, depression comes with anxiety. It comes with no appetite, sleeping 10 hours, and waking up tired. It comes with the illusion of standing in a room with hundreds of people and being seen by none of them. It doesn’t make sense. It’s impossible to understand so imagine how they feel…. fighting a constant internal battle. So be that support system. Reassure and love hard. Never give up on her. Giving a depressed person hope or security and ripping it from them is just plain destructive and cruel. Be there for her and actually back it up with action. I’ve dealt with depression for many years and having toxic people around made it nearly impossible for me to heal. My ex was supportive, but it wasn’t enough because of who was taking care of his affairs. I later found out that he himself was depressed and being manipulated by his caretaker who tried to get me committed (and who herself deals with serious mental health issues).
If any of you out there have a significant other who has a caretaker that has a bit “too much” to say about your depression, nip it in the bud before it's too late. I wasn’t allowed to express anger or frustration, because if I did, I was “crazy and unstable” when it was THEM that were. Moral of the story: Be there for her, do whatever you need to in order to make her happy and keep her happy. Don’t get angry because she’s symptomatic or says hurtful things about her problems. This partially led to my breakup with my now ex-fiance. He couldn't accept my depression, my weight loss surgery regimen, and people around him remarked: "Why are you sad? You have nothing to be sad about." He was convinced that I only needed a multivitamin and a primary care physician for my NUMEROUS health issues and would hide my vitamins so I couldn't use them. Really?
Having unsupportive people is the number one reason why I struggled with mental health problems all my life. I still have it BUT it's nowhere near as severe. Sometimes to save your mental health, you have to walk away from everyone that you love...those individuals that mean you no good and make your depression worse. I had to do it and my life is a living testament to taking those scary steps into a better life, both mentally, emotionally, and physically. If your mental health isn't right, your physical health won't be either. What affects the mind can affect the physical a known fact.