Hi!
I know-know that I haven’t been writing something good (stories from a café) for a long time. Believe me or not, no mood. No mood for warcoffee stories.
Diagnosis?
The year of the war.
Healing?
Victory. 
Today I want to take you on the journey to my day. To my life under alerts.
Maybe I combine some days into one. Still don't know. The 'secret' of my writing is that whenever I'm going to write, I'm not quite sure what it will be at the end.
Usually, I get up at 8 or 9. As my job now is to write (my lovely job, my dream, my heart), I don't need to hurry up.
The first thing I do in the morning is checking whether there're air raid alerts. Not only here, in Kyiv, but in every part of Ukraine.
Damages made by ru missiles, drones, or artillery at night?
Sometimes I have tears in my eyes. Okok. It's not good to start your day with tears, but I forgot how to smile in the morning.
Warcoffee after that. I don't like to have breakfast. I only do it when there're missiles. We had tons of mornings with missiles. I hope you understand why I have breakfast on missiles' days.
Now I'm lucky. We have power. So I can cook and have a warcoffee at home. But for a few months, we hadn't had such possibilities.
Sometimes we didn't have water (now we have).
I'm the person who used to plan everything. I try even now. For example:
- go to the café and write
- go to the workout
- visit the dentist (tired so much of these visits)
- buy grocery
- buy new books
- go for a walk
- plan my trip to…
So all the things with go, buy, plan – may go to hell (sorry) in case of an air raid alert. 
When we have it:
- absolutely all government institutions are closed
- shops and malls are closed
- pharmacies are closed
- cinemas and cafes are closed (some cafes stay open anyway)
- some bridges (from one river bank to another) in Kyiv are closed
- gyms are supposed to be closed too, but mine is open (for regular clients)
- all public transport is stopped (only the underground metro is working)
What can I do during an air raid alert?
Best of all – go to the shelter. But some time ago, I decided no. You may read about it here.
So I can
- walk
- walk
- walk
Ok. Also, stay at home.
When there are missiles or drones, it's not safe to walk. There were many cases of damaged cars and houses, killed people. The threat is not only the missile or drone but their remains.
I'm not afraid to be dead. I'm afraid of not finishing my writing. Of course, I gave access to my war book diary and nobook (the book that shouldn't have been written) to the person I trust. And if something happens to me, I hope some parts of my writings will see this world.
But what else about air raid alerts and living under them?
I cannot normally plan my trip to another city. I promised to show you some new places once a month. Of course, I have a dentist this month, and this implants saga. But even if I didn't, it's hard to plan. Should I go next week or in two weeks? Maybe on that day, we'll have an air raid alert that will bring us missiles and other war threats. So I feel as try to foretell the future.
The main conclusion about living under air raid alerts is that they control my life. Of course, I can cheat on them. Go to the workout, find some open café, buy food from the woman on the street, take a taxi (pay tons of money and be late everywhere). I can pretend:
- Everything is not bad.
But it's not. It's war. It's a possibility that there may be a missile any second.
Every breath can be my last one.
Okok.
Happy to have a chance to write to you.
Maybe I will write a new story from the An apple and thought series next time. Maybe-maybe.
Hugs,
Yara (or Yaroslava)