A lot of things about "being human" didn't come naturally to me. I was constantly looking at others for how to behave, constantly trying to "fit in" and "belong," and failing lol, miserably.
Over the last few months I've been thinking about hypervigilance. I feel there's a big connection between chronic illness, hypervigilance, and worry. Especially health worries.
There are tons of techniques out there to teach yourself how not to worry but the one thing that was missing for me was PRACTICE. Seems so silly that a grown woman would have to practice something like not worrying but, I did it and it was just what I needed.
For me, the biggest fear was that by not worrying I was being irresponsible to the situation I was worried about. "You can't ignore your problems, Dawn." I would say to myself. Yet, it took a really long time to realize that worrying about my problems... didn't do a damn thing to change the problem. Thoughts of solutions may change your problems but worry doesn't do diddly squat.
So, I confronted that within myself. Said, "self, you do not have an obligation to inflict sadness and fear upon yourself. that is NOT expected of you, and never was." (yes, I do talk to myself, how else will I listen? lol)
Then, I took small opportunities, where I would normally worry, and I asked myself, "What happens if I don't worry about this?" A pending medical bill, a medical test I was waiting for the outcome on, whether or not my ex was going to send a harassing text, if I was going to fall asleep at work, would I have enough money for food this month... each situation came and I made a conscious decision to NOT worry. Whatever the bill amount is, I will deal with it, whatever the test result is, I will deal with it, whatever my ex says, if I fall asleep, if I have the money... I will deal with them all as they happen and refuse to think about them UNTIL they do. The bill was low, the test was negative, the texts stopped coming, of course I fell asleep at work lol, yes - thank you California - I did have enough money for food for the month.
Each time you "let" yourself be free from the worry, and you're able to get through the time where you normally would have spent it worrying and you see that the outcome was totally doable, it will give you the confidence to say, "OK, well last time I didn't worry and it worked out good, so I'm going to try that again THIS time and just see what happens."
Once you do that enough, you literally stop worrying about anything. Took me YEARS to get here but I used to be a REAL worrywart, worrying about everything for everyone. It is literally JUST a change in your mindset, in your thinking, in the things you choose to let be entertained in your brain. Choose wisely.
So, what happens if I don't worry? I change my entire life. Now, ask yourself the question, and go find out your answer.
Happy matters thrivers 💛
Love,
Dawn Super
Want more? Visit my blog goingbeyondcoping.com