“Abusers are very good at lying. Most of us are not, but abusers have been lying their whole life and do it effortlessly.” Faith and Child Sexual Abuse
We all know that child abusers lie. But, do you know how natural and effortless it is for them?
I have been fortunate to attend a training by child abuse expert, Victor Vieth. In this training, Vieth explained that most of us ‘think’ we are good at lying - but we aren’t.
Perpetrators on the other hand ARE very good at lying. They’ve done it their whole life. It is just second nature to them. On top of that, Vieth explained that many perpetrators have ‘cognitive distortions.' This allows the perpetrator to justify their actions as ‘not that bad’ or even more heinously as actually ‘helping.'
Don’t think that means they don’t know what they are doing - they do. They just use these ‘tricks’ to manipulate and deceive. Unfortunately, it works. Children are frequently not believed because the person accused of abusing them did not ‘act guilty.'
We expect people caught doing something wrong to act the way we would act. Most ‘normal’ people would feel guilt and try to avoid the situation. But, child abuse perpetrators are not ‘normal.' As Vieth said, they lie convincingly.
These perpetrators don’t feel guilty. They don’t ‘hideaway.' Instead, they may get right in your face proclaiming their ‘innocence.' They will also most likely attempt to manipulate the whole situation so they become the ‘victim.'
Who pays the price for this? The child.
We can’t let that happen. We have to understand how abusers abuse. We need a child court system that is educated and accountable for believing and defending children.
Children don’t lie about being abused. Perpetrators always lie about not abusing. Believe, protect, and defend the child.
( Read more from the Victor Vieth Training in the link below.)