We all have them both in our lives. And we have all been both at different times too. Sometimes we know we are and sometimes we don't. It's all in the perception of the recipient.
They come in various guises and disguises and largely depend on one thing...US.
We are the common denominator in all of this. When we are in the Red Zone we can see more Vampires than Cheerleaders and vice a versa in the Blue Zone.
Cheerleaders - are people who give you energy and support to achieve in life and in situations. Their actions, no matter what, have your best interest at heart. They tell you truths, they encourage, they might even tell white lies, all with pious kindness and sometimes whilst thinking they know best for you. It doesn't always go as the person wished. I have in the past tried to help people in various ways. I thought I was being a cheerleader only for it to be construed as being a vampire. You just have to examine your intentions again and ask yourself the question "was this actually about me?", suck that up, learn from it and try again.
Occasionally someone will tell me that a phrase I used, even though given no great significance by me, has stuck with them and been a difference that has made a difference.
Vampires - are people who try to steal your energy because they need to feed the deficiency in themselves. This can be seen in the individual relationship, the family, a sports team or a workplace. Their behaviour might not be openly known to them and it's just the way they live because that is the only way they have been shown, or it could be through trauma, or just having the inability to be in control of their lives. A primary solution to this is to change your environment, and by that I also include the people in your environment. It's often worth the bravery to make the change and start afresh with cheerleaders.
The Law of Attraction would suggest that we attract the most suitable people into our lives when we are in that certain state of mind and two things come to mind
in our Blue / Red Zone we become aware of who we want and need to keep us in that Zone and therefore attract them as we are attracted to them. Misery loves company etc.
they can sniff you out just as easily.
When we think of the concept within relationships, we know that there are many examples of when people are struggling in life, someone comes into it that doesn't have their best interests at heart. As an example, I saw for a while, a common thread on Social Media around Narcissistic behaviour in males in relationships, and I am sure it's also applicable to females. Why at times are we attracted to that type of person? What need are they feeding in us?
You will no doubt have some great examples yourself or when you think of other peoples lives and who is in them.
Once you have identified whether someone is a cheerleader or vampire, what do you do with that information? If they are a cheerleader, ask if you are one back to them? Do they need it or do you just need to pay it forward to another person in need through kindness. No matter how strong someone appears or have no vulnerability on the surface we all benefit from some cheerleading.
And if they are a Vampire, get them out your life or if you have decided that your connection with them is stronger than the need to get them out your lives (parents / children) then how do you manage that? Either way you need strength and resilience. You need some clarity around the pros and cons and the situation / resolution, for as we know, a lack of knowledge of the future whilst in the Red Zone brings on anxiety and is a dangerous place to make decisions.
Cheerleaders can help you deal with Vampires. You are not alone in your fight against them. If you feel that you are alone with this, then contact me and I will find you a cheerleader.
There are many organisations out there that are set up to be cheerleaders in one way or another. I am here, hopefully as a cheerleader as are certain friends at various levels, and hopefully your life partner. parents and children.
However - you are your best cheerleader. You have access to you all day, every day unless we lose ourselves in drugs / alcohol. Even when we dream we have the ability to cheerleader our self. I spoke about mirror work in the last post and the ability to be kind or to vampire ourselves at each occasion. It's your decision however its an easy process to start.
Homework -
identify your cheerleaders and vampires.
be a conscious cheerleader to someone today.
Kindness makes us happy.
Stuart
The Cheerleaders and Vampires in Your Life - Elaine Kennedy Mcivor. The above is my own thinking around the concept I learnt first hand from Elaine, when she presented for me in High Schools in Coatbridge. The book is an excellent read an available on Amazon.