It's time to drop the mask and talk about Social Media. Like everything in this life, Social Media is polar in its existence. What do I mean? Well, it has its benefits and it has its pits of hell. Your experience with social media is all in how you choose to use the tool that has been given to us all. I want to really focus on Facebook and tear the mask from around it today.
Everything in life contains some truth, how across the board true it is, well you learn that through allowing yourself to unobjectively see it for all it could be, all it is, and all that you do or do not want to indulge in. It even requires leaving room for the things that your mind could not imagine at this point being true, surrounding the platform. From the moment of Facebook's birth they told us it was built for staying in the know, being connected, a network.
All of these things sounded great, and they are, when used wisely. Think about it, how many times has being on Facebook allowed you to learn about a friends small business venture, or the passing of a loved one that is miles away, but you know in almost real time? Many times, would most likely be your answer. I know that has been the case for myself.
But the flip side is, how many times have you used that platform to air your laundry out? Create extra pains where there did not need to be? Yeah again, at some point we have all done it, including myself.
The Responsibility of Discernment & Accountability:
Many do not want to admit this, but Facebook was presented as a beautifully wrapped gift that also contained many illusions, and came with a great personal responsibility. Have you ever heard that famous line? "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." It's true for many of life's situations. But knowing this and acting with this in effect is an inner disclipine. There is nothing outside of you that can lock this in or put it into motion. No, it's an inside job. And when social media showed up, that in my opinion, was the perfect tool to use to aid in strengthening one's disclipine.
Instead, Facebook became the center of attention, for everything, many times more negative than positive. Think about it, how many times have you went to Facebook over a news source in the last two years? How many times have you checked the feed to see what's "official" in your friends love life? Because until it is on the book, it must not really exist. Again, I'm calling myself out on past behaviors here too.
From the moment Facebook hit the scene I was hesitant to make a profile. Why? Because people do not use things wisely, and I could see reality already blurring right before my very eyes. But I'm also human and said, fuck it, let's see. Trust me it has been a blessing in my life and other times it has been a pure ride from hell.
Social media handed out what every human craves, a place to be heard, a place to be seen, a place to feel as if you belong to something greater than yourself. It also paved the way for inviting everything you didn't even know existed to be accessible at the click of a button. Social media from the start tuned into the desires and need for, and it has had society on an emotional rollercoaster ever since.
What do you give a person that has it all? How do you keep a person feeling less than? How do you always keep people wanting? How do you keep lust alive dressed as love?
Give humans a tool and tell them it's for one thing, while letting them discover all they can do with it and morphing it however they like. By continuously upgrading suppliers of goods, services and how they are seen. Take control of their phone through extra premissions so that every thought and conversation creates their reality when they log in.
In my opinion, this was created in hopes that humans would do what they always do, find their people and group up. Which only produced a major stage for anyone willing to make a profile. Think about it, people do not use the stages in real life to their best and others best outcomes. You cannot tell me they did not see this coming. Humans are one thing for sure and that is predictible. Bullies, to the right, light shiners to the left, anxiety and depression to the North and the South.
And they gave all these things to immature beings. Beings that are still learning to submit their flesh for the greater long-term good. Must have impulses are given into without real thought or true regard. Everything that you may have had to really search for, be it good or bad, now is available in the blink of an eye.
In hearing all the good and longing for the connections, we dove into the Social world of anti-socialism. Yeah I said it. Social Media turned society into functioning anti-social beings, that live under the illusion that they are socialable.
But social media also gave us a beautiful place to share our life's work, family memories, and stay connected even when miles seperate us. From time to time you will see me leave SM, that did not happen until I let the mask fall from all the illusions.
As an entrepreneur, many times I justified my addiction of the Book with, "If I go away what will happen to my life?" Well, the reality was life would go on. But the other reality was, many stresses would lift, and time always became more abundant. And as always, I did not really miss anything, I would find once I did log back in. But I know many have not achieved this level of awareness.
No matter what someone else chooses to use Social Media for, you always have the choice in how you use it, what you respond to, and how you respond to it.
In my opinion, social media actually took us back a few years, in behavior that is. It turned a society of adults into emotionally pulled high school ways of thinking and responding. The scroll and dispare has become the tone for many instead of being encouraged, and becoming expanded with greater knowlegde of the world and their self.
Social Media became the perfect shift the blame scenrio. Many sit back and indulge in childish ways, then say, "had Facebook not been there... Had they not...". Self accountability went to the wayside. Emotions are elevated many days by most and peace seems non-existent.
How do you begin to unlock your truest inner peace? Try exercising this thought the next time you find yourself struggling to regain peace.
Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than what you think it should be.
To peacefully enjoy social media while allowing others the space to enjoy it there way, can only come through engaing while consciously aware. Allow yourself to truly take this next paragraph in.
The strings of illusion are played on with every login.
Social media is a fanasty. Not saying these wonderful moments are not legit. But they are not this way all the time. Like a wheel, life is always turning. Some days you're high on the mountain, some days are valley days with no immediate sun to be felt. Many forget this because their eyes see a contiunious feed of greatness. DO you post your worst moments? Well even if you do, everyone isn't you. SM is highlight reels at best. Missing many details. Why? Because they are in control of the information you gain from their profile and their life.
Erica Parrott
I want to tell you a secret. I live my life (online and in reality), like a stone. You have to be very, very inside my inner court to know what is really going on. My life problems have a time and a place, and most of them not one outside source can fix. It's an inside job, and I keep it that way.
The human mind and body understand experiences. And when we keep seeing great post after great post, it starts to make you a little salty if your life experience aren't the same.
I have watched people I know allow the scroll and dispare to get them to saltyness and then carry that into a post comment to disagree with someone else. It would be so over the top, you couldn't help but think, What was all that about? Later I hear from salty they got blocked. Of course you got blocked. Did you read what you typed? But what really bothered me for them, was the amount of emotions and time that was being robbed from their real life. If they called me to grip about it, you know atleast two other people have heard about it in real life too.
I get why people log off and never come back. But that also cuts those of you that just log-off, off. You don't get to enjoy your friends that you do enjoy seeing on there. Every time you do decide to come back you find its evolved in how it operates. Which leads many to logging back off out of frustration. That's not cool either.
Social media most definetly did not become what I had hoped. I was hoping for people to see right through the illusions and then choose to use it better than we see it being used now. But that was a naive thought. It took me about four years of Facebook and then Instagram being born, before I allowed myself to unarm emotionally and let the big picture fall into place.
It's about shifting reality...Just because they want you to feel one way, does not make it so. You choose your reality.
I had to step back and take ownership for the times I had played my childish parts with this tool. I also had to then say, this is where I'll be using it differently from here on if it's going to be used at all.
Illusions will have you acting and doing all kinds of unnecessary things. My favorite one I want to discuss is the power of Lust.
Lust comes in the form of people, places and things. No one can control your desires, but it is your duty to evaluate if that desire is love or fetish. Love walks in discerment. Lust walks in pure want. Let this wash over and within you:
Social Media gave us the power to see items you might have never seen without the web. It turned everything into feeling like a need. Driven on how much better, or easier it would make everyday living. Or telling you how amazing you would feel after letting their fabric wrap your body all day. Social media also gave every legit model, and those aspiring to be, the freedom to do so from anywhere. With that comes fans.
The openess of Social Media brings a sense of "I can talk to anyone." "Omg they are famous(ish) and talking to me." "OOOh they look good and they are only a click away."
But this freedom carries a great personal responsibility. One that many are still struggling with. It is a responsibility to understand that
Everyone is not you.
Everything is not meant for you.
Some people will never know how to be appropriate in their appoarch.
And my personal favorite, everything does not need a response.
Do you remember how last week I talked about the ego and all its wanting? That is the part that decides what action happens next when you feel these stirrings. An immature ego might give into all the sensations being felt and order that pair of shoes, or naively tell someone I know I'm your one. Not necessarily throwing caution to the wind, but rather saying "Well most of the boxes check off, and I'm here, they're here so why not?!"
A good friend of mine apporached me one time and asked me, what my secret was to navigating social media with all the attention my looks and work draws-in.
For me it all comes down to accountability, responsibility and truly knowing what I want in life. Not saying I'm perfect. I've indulged the wrong company intimately. It was a lesson and a blessing. Those relationships allowed me greater understandings of myself and they also allowed me to experience things I may not have seen without them. Many moments lead to good outcomes for other areas of my life. But for me these 3 are always in motion.
I also have never been big on being hit on, because words mean very little, actions inspire me. Intellectual conversation and familiar energy catch my eye.
Confidence not Cockyness. And yes there is a difference. Trust me they look quite similar until you become fluant in discernment. Once you start operating through discernment, the two stand apart in major ways, and it happens quickly.
Confidence- They do their homework. They scope out if there is even room for them. If they cannot find pics of an other, they message in a upfront kind of way. Mainly asking a question first. Or laying out fillers to find out if there is a chance.
Cocky- They do no homework. Bust right into messenger with dick pics, messages of "You are my one, I just know it." things of that nature. They feel confident but come off, to me, as out of touch.
Most come with the first apporach that is very toned with time wasting. Not saying this is a bad thing, but for me when I get a Hey! You liked what you saw, I appreciate your being inspired, but I know this is not aligned for anything other than filling time. I have never been a shallow time filler. That doesn't get my attention, I immediately know there is no depth, not the kind I am willing to give energy to. But furthermore, for me social media is a tool I use for my creative work. Always has been. So hook-ups do not entice any thrills for me. I'm truly an old soul and don't like many people in my inner close bubble.
When you understand and know yourself it saves you time and hassle in so many ways. It removes a lot of unnecessary. I've also found so many wonderful friends by not being so eager to let words stir my next move. All because you liked what you saw.
When I wasn't operating and trusting my inner voice, yep words would stir a conversation that I may not have indulged otherwise. But it still would never be the What's Ups! Without knowlege of what you truly want, what your life path is, and full use of discernment, you will take hold of anything that feels like it could work in your intimate life. Anything can look good together and reside in a state of happy, but will it fully be a fulfilling happy?
Listen to this clip that I shared with a friend that was wrestling with connections and placement of opposite sex when they came into her life...When this A-ha hit me years ago it changed my entire life!
Thankfully, I learned a long time ago everything is not meant for me. And I truly am ok with that. Bodies are art and they are meant to be admired. But admiration does not make it yours. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we are feeling, even when the inner voice is saying don't, we find a way to work around the sound and justifiy doing so anyhow. This is a naive notion and every day social media plays on that heavily. But humans help keep that naiveness alive by indulging into every thing they desire then griping about it in a post later. The wheel, and how it keeps spinning. But you have the power to change that flow.
The Pivot:
Attraction happens on many different levels as does connection. We are also all human and have desires. The key to this experience is remembering not all desires are supposed to be fulfilled. And some familiarness is signifying a connection but maybe not in the physcial sense. Allow yourself to simply be. No expectations, only present for whatever the moment presents.
Once you allow yourself to fully understand; Everything you desire, you hold a level of responsibility when you encounter that desire, to assess how it best serves your life and purpose.
Think about it, even things not good for you come into view looking mighty fine. It's not until it's too late, that you are like...well. And most times you even had something tugging at you to not go that route, but there was enough illusions that supported you flowing on. Until you allow those things you are feeling to be unemotionally explored, you are simply living on a Disney version of "When you Wish Upon a Star."
To honestly discern a new connection, you must be in a state of no expectation and fully present in what is and is not being said. Yes, it sounds tricky and discerning on a dime becomes easier the more you practice that skill that we each possess as humans. And it all begins by getting back in touch and learning what your inner most voice sounds like.
Social Media has not helped us for the good in the conscious or the unconscious. Sadly, it was created during a naive wave, by a naive being, and now turning society even further backwards. SM, may have started for connection, but its end-game is controlling while reshaping reality.
But you hold the key my friend. You can take back your power, time, and well-being while still enjoying the platforms. You can have social media while still maintaing your peace. But it will require great work from you. And as we each do this work, social media will become what it is destined to become eventually. Nothing lives forever.
Anything can become a unified third, if the right proportions and the correct vessel are used when mixing them.
It will require you to make a stand that you will give and receive only what you need from this source. Emotions will not be in play. Time to get these platforms and our real lives back to a state of enjoyment. Because like they originally said, its all about belonging and staying connected.
So let's take our personal powers back and redefine our relationships with ourselves, our loved ones and bring true enjoyment to the Social Media waves.
Please, do not mistake what I'm about to say for something easy, or something that I discovered overnight. It isn't something that you do it once and that's that. No, like everything in life, reputation is the key to contiuned success.
Until you discipline the mind, and the body and give it the experience of not being given what it wants; it will never truly understand that, hey you are still here and you didn't get it! Probably even better for not getting what you thought you wanted. You may even find a greater blessing by not indulging that naive desire.
For example, I cannot tell you how many times, people have hit on me online, I don't respond yet they hang around. It never fails at some point down the road they pop back up in DM and say, "I'm glad I stayed around even though you didn't respond to my advance. I don't think I would have learned the things I had, had you indulged me in that way. Mad respect."
Sometimes that familiar is not meant to be physcially mixed. Sometimes that familiarness is a connection that will allow you to see things differently in life if you will show up without any other expectations. For all you know that connection could end up being a life changer in a different way for your life. But mixing the souls and the flesh when that was not the design, makes the odds 50/50. Can you afford to keep going through life on half?
Yes, this was the first key I obtained to my freedom of not indulging every one that may show up with words, that while stroked the ego and they felt good to read or hear..would they land me where I need to be?
And do not be fooled. I did not become strong and disciplined by starting this practice in the big areas. It begin with teaching my system it could respond by not responding, and be better for it in many ways in the little things. And yes, sometimes I have to talk myself down, that's apart of it too. Like you, I too am human, and well can get real. But I had to take that realness and give it back to myself in pure love. If you aren't filling the love up for yourself, you will always think what's missing can only come from outward.
Do you know why two halves make a whole? Because each half is a true and full half.
Filling your own cup truly will also aid in amping up your discernement game. When you know yourself, you also stop attracting certain things, no matter your line of work.
It doesn't matter if its a new pair of shoes, new human encounter, or a location move. Everything gets put into its respective place. True living need vs. I simply want that; do I even really need it?
When we can unattach from what we think we know, and see things for what they are, the beauty that unfolds in this surrendering is truly one of magic. No one said you are going to like what they are once you see them raw, but raw allows for you to honestly use it without it ruling your every emotion.
May you find your footing on this reality skewed journey known as Social Media. Do not let what others use for evil bleed into your connections.
Whether we want to admit it or not, it is very healthy to take breaks from Social Media. It is just like any thing in this life...too much of anything can spoil you on its everything.
Strengthening Your Inner Knowing:
Do you have loved ones that seem to see things coming before they happen? You are no different, you have that power to. That skill becomes stronger with leaning into what your intuition is telling you. It has its own feeling and at its core could be described as a feeling of true knowing, where peace radiates from. Even when the unknown brings a bit of scary, your inner voice calms it because you know what you know.
Here are a few checkers you can use in the future while strengthening your inner voice to discern whether its your core or your emotions speaking:
Erica Parrótt/Eluminate/These Are The Times
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