Hello! Thank you for clicking on this page. It is nice to meet you!

My name is Renuka. I am a 35 year old burned out international lawyer, wife, mother of a boy, living in the Netherlands. I have lived with anxiety and pain for as long as I remember. Over the past ten years, I have been diagnosed with close to ten chronic conditions (read more about my story if you are bored or interested or both or neither), the sum of which makes my life a waking hell – and that is on a good day. Despite these conditions, I managed to sing, marry, have a child and establish a successful international law practice.

So it seemed like I was either  a) ignoring my pain or b) battling it well – depending on who you ask (my father would say a), I’d say b) and my husband would say c) – all of the above) – until April 2019, when a hypertensive crisis led me to a near-death experience, followed by a downward spiral in my health rivalling Lindsay Lohan’s career, leading to a burnout.

After taking a sabbatical to focus on my health, and going through the inevitable identity crisis of “like, who am I even, anymore” (I don’t know why I sound like a valley girl here, my apologies), I realized that my pain was part of my identity. There was no point in denying that and in fact, it felt liberating to accept and acknowledge it. That is when I thought I’d join the bandwagon of fibro bloggers to share my experience and learn from yours, dear readers.

I am finding that sharing my experience, research and musings on chronic pain, fibromyalgia, anxiety and depression with the world has been strangely cathartic. If it also helps someone to realise that they are not alone, then it would be a great bonus!

Welcome to my crazy world!

With pain and love,

Renuka