Sep 25, 2021
Okay, right now I'm trying to returned to calmness. Nothing major happened - Bruce was just yelling at Maxi because he was being difficult when getting his jumper on, but I went to freeze mode - brain shut down, wanting to run away, but couldn't, and just sat here breathing shallowly and wanting the raised voice and swear words to stop because I felt like my world was ending, like we were going to die or something else just as extreme.
I blame starting therapy and thinking about it all again for some of the reactions I'm having. I'm thinking about my emotions, writing down every day, TRYING.
Trying to apply calming skills, thinking about the function of my coping strategies. Sitting on edge, trying to not care about the small things.
I just fear I'm doing the wrong thing, about to do the wrong thing, whatever that is.
I don't know where I was going with this sorry :/