Why am I crying
What is it like to know the answer and hate yourself for it
The kind questions you ask others, you don't extend to yourself
The screaming walls, the corner of the bathroom, the empty ceiling and the cold sheets
Gone are the niceties, gone is the silver lining, gone is the sparkle
The smile that lit up the room, now hardly makes it
Curiosity touches you from time to time telling you to find answers
It's not time yet, you say
For my misery needs some love so it can say goodbye for long this time
I need to feed it a big breakfast, bathe it and dress it up for awhile...
I need to swaddle it and breath in the smell of its powdered head
Be careful, it says, I know when your faking it
I take it along wherever I go and talk about it to anyone who will listen
It's getting weary
It's dragging its feet
It's sad to leave
I hide a smile and say
'Come back when you miss me'