Dec 03, 2021
4 mins read
The atmosphere in the car was still. It was the uncomfortable silence everyone dreads.
Leila was staring out the window, and I was concentrating on driving us safely through the thunderstorm. We haven't spoken since we started the journey. And I know that if I start a conversation, we will end up fighting.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Leila pull the sleeve of her sweater over her hand and wipe away the tear from her face. That was her defence strategy - crying. She knew I hated it when she cried. I love her too much for my own good.
"Turn on the radio, if you like," I said.
"I am fine," she said.
I was okay with having no radio. The rain was keeping my ears satisfied.
"I didn't mean to do it, you know," she said.
"And yet, that is what you exactly did," I replied.
She turned to face me. I glanced at her once, then stared at the road ahead. Her eyes were swollen and red.
"You are making me feel guilty," she said.
"And aren't you?" I asked.
"I said sorry so many times," she cried.
"Honey. This is the sixth time," I reminded her.
"I know, I know. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't," she explained.
"How did you try to stop yourself, may I ask?"
She sniffed. "I thought about you."
"Oh honey, that's so sweet. When exactly were you thinking about me? Before, during or after the act?"
"Stop mocking me," she said.
"Then stop putting me in such embarrassing and difficult situations," I replied.
It went all quiet again.
I still remember the day I saw Leila.
It was the day I worked from the Starbucks near my office. I liked changing my work environment once a week, and this Starbucks was a perfect choice. I couldn't take my eyes off when she walked in. She wasn't the prettiest or the sexiest girl I had ever seen, but something about her pulled me in. She caught me looking at her while she was waiting for her order. And she smiled. That sealed the deal for me and my heart.
Now I wished I wasn't there that day.
I didn't want to fight with Leila. I love her. I'll do anything for her. Maybe that's my problem. But this was getting out of hand now.
"I don't know how long I can take this," I said.
"But you said it was fine if I went out with others," she replied.
That pierced through my heart. Again. I regret the day I agreed to her having a partner other than me. I thought agreeing to her request would make her happy. What I didn't realise was it was going to make me miserable and a criminal.
"Darling, what I am going to say next is going to make you angry. But hear me out," I reasoned with her.
She didn't say anything, so I continued.
"You need help," I said.
I felt her eyes glare at me. I knew I was writing my own death warrant, but I didn't care anymore. I was tired of her mess.
"I am not crazy," she chewed her words.
"Then what is all this? Why are we out in the middle of the night, driving through the forest, when it's raining so hard that I can't even see where I am going? I don't know about you, but I am going crazy living with you."
We didn't speak until we reached the spot I was too familiar with. I turned off the car. Nobody came to this area of the forest but never say never. I sat there, gearing up for the hard labour ahead.
"Honey," I looked at Leila, "Your appetite for men is ferocious. This is not how you should react when someone breaks up with you. So if you bring another mess into my house, I am not going to help you. Now, get out and start digging a hole."
I didn't wait for her reply.
I got out of the car and opened the trunk. I couldn't help but sigh as I looked at the heavy bundle. I got to work anyway.
"Come on, buddy. Let's get you buried."
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