Quick disclaimer here: This post is not about stories that are specifically written about struggle, for example homosexuality where it is illegal, or disability back in the day when such people were drowned at birth, etc. I am talking about the modern, western world.
I made a tweet on this recently, but as with many of my quickie tweet-tips, it required a bit more clarification than 280 characters allows for, and I am not the biggest fan of long Twitter threads, due to how the app breaks them up.
For this post we're going to make up a character called Daniel. He is an adult male who walks with a limp and uses a cane following a leg injury that caused permanent muscle and nerve damage.
Normalised vs Specialised
Creating "specialised" characters is a mistake that people often make when writing outside of their demographic.
They aren't gay, so they falsely believe that all gay people spend their time Doing Gay Things, and Talking About Being Gay. Everyone in their life is either gay or a homophobe.
They're not disabled so they have to make their disabled character a Disabled By Trade medical genius who knows 100% of their medical history in its original Latin. They are a hero or warrior because... reasons?
Most of the time this is too much. I'll discuss why as we go.
Normalising Disability
Don't confuse the term "normalising" for erasing someone's personality, or making them dull in spite of their unusual life. When we talk about normalising something, it simply means not making a huge deal out of it, and treating the person like just another human being - whilst also understanding that they might go through something different to a "regular" person.
LET'S LOOK AT DANIEL'S PERSONALITY - FROM TWO PERSPECTIVES
Firstly, I am going to show you what I'm gonna call a SPECIALISED perspective. Then, I am going to show you the NORMALISED perspective, and you'll see why normalised is often the better choice. In both cases, Daniel is going to be disabled.
THE SPECIALISED DISABLED CHARACTER
The specialised character is a form of Mary Sue/Gary Stu - i.e. a character that is so wonderful and flawless (in spite of challenges) that they are almost a cartoon. Specialised Daniel is as follows:
Daniel's a nice guy. He likes dumb dad jokes, the occasional video game. He likes being outside on sunny days (and rainy days), but hates snow and wind. He likes dogs, and reading.
He raises money in a walk-a-thon every year for charities surrounding his particular disability to allow the local hospital to buy walking aids for poorer patients.
His disability is literally all he talks about, thinks about, and involves himself with
He wears clothes with disability puns on, and has a tattoo of the ribbon surrounding his disability
His disability hasn't stopped him doing anything in life, physically
His disability doesn't affect his mental health, cos he's a warrior!
He works 40 hours a week, eats well, doesn't drink, and he's very healthy.
Despite Daniel being so wonderful, he gets non-stop abuse from strangers.
Everyone treats Daniel like a baby because he has a cane.
100% of the people Daniel meets ask invasive questions about his cane and his leg, and have literally nothing else to talk about
Daniel suffers no limitations in life due to his disability.
As a disabled person myself who suffers chronic pain and indeed sometimes uses a cane, these tropes of "happy disabled folk" really grind my gears, because disabilities are not a boon to a person's body, that's why they are disabilities. Yet we can indeed have a happy life in spite of these things.
Let's look at a more normalised version of Daniel:
THE NORMALISED DISABLED CHARACTER
People are complex, and flawed. We have good days and bad days even if there's nothing physically wrong with our bodies. When our bodies don't work, it can throw a huge spanner in the works. Let's look at Normalised Daniel:
Daniel's a nice guy. He likes dumb dad jokes, the occasional video game. He likes being outside on sunny days (and rainy days), but hates snow and wind. He likes dogs, and reading.
He takes painkillers every day, and they don't always work. Very occasionally he's in too much pain to get out of bed, let alone go to work. On those days, he calls in sick.
When his leg is fine, he can go to work at his office job and doesn't really think much about it. He works hard and enjoys his job. He gets on with his coworkers and often goes out with them for coffee or drinks.
When the painkillers don't work, the only thing that seems to numb it all is drinking. He's not an alcoholic, but he definitely self-medicates once in a while, especially on Saturday nights when there's no work the next day.
Daniel can have sex and go on dates like anyone else, and 99% of the time nobody really cares that he has a cane; he's a well-dressed and handsome guy, after all. Some girls dig it, and think it makes him look rather dapper. Some girls don't want a "cripple". This stings his ego, but he doesn't want them either.
His family treat him no differently. His mum fusses a bit when he visits, which is endearing but annoying for him, but she's his mum, it's just what they do.
Daniel eats healthily, with the odd take-out at the weekend. He's gained a few pounds since hurting his leg, since eating is comforting and he can't exercise like he used to
Nobody really gives Daniel hassle for being disabled. Sometimes people bump into his cane on the bus, and they apologise. He feels a bit embarrassed by all the turned heads when this happens, but it doesn't bother him beyond that.
Daniel enjoys the occasional boons his disability offers him, like the parking spaces, use of disability toilets or when people allow him to jump the line because he has a cane. He doesn't NEED it, but he takes it since it's there. Small mercies and all that.
He deals with his disability, but he'd rather not be disabled, if he's completely honest. He used to go mountain climbing, running, hiking. He can't do these things any more; even walking too far can mean a solid week of pain.
Daniel can no longer take stairs and has to be careful on uneven terrain, especially when it's raining. On those days, he stays home as he's scared of falling over and being stuck on the floor.
Sometimes, Daniel is depressed. On these days he can be short tempered and he hates everything.
When he got injured, Daniel was very angry and the depression was worse. With therapy, he has come to terms with his new life and new limitations and gets by quite well, forming healthy relationships and dealing with the pain.
Why it's important to normalise characters who are different
Let's say you're writing a romance novel. Just a nice, fluffy "guy meets girl and falls in love" kind of fare without any huge, dramatic plot. You could easily cast Daniel as the leading guy, and not make his disability 100% of the plot.
Sometimes, it IS the plot (think Me Before You by JoJo Moyes), but it doesn't have to be. In fact, the less dramatic attention you draw to it the better. You can easily just slip it in there in the same way you'd write a habit or clothing choice. It just is. No drama.
You could also swap the female love interest for another guy and the story wouldn't even need to be rewritten, except for a few choice words or scenarios. As I said on Twitter: your gay romance is just a straight romance with more penis. Most gay couples in Western society just go about their business, and believe it or not, the violence and hassle some gay folk are unfortunately met with are minority situations, and don't often happen these days.
Normalising characters who are commonly seen as different helps society see them as normal people, in spite of their struggles or differences. It helps people to realise that a straight person fretting over their girlfriend's weird text is no different to a gay person fretting over his boyfriend's text, etc.
Write "different" people like you'd write anyone else and your novel about the gay or disabled person (etc) will not come across as forced, contrived or unrealistic. Happy writing! <3