Miss something?

Have you ever missed something so much that it just eats you alive in your brain?? I used to have this thing I would do and it just eats my brain alive especially when I'm in one of these moods. I was good at it, I felt like I was good at it, people said I was good at it, I felt beautiful, I felt invincible... I miss is so much. I wish I could do it again. Am I physically able to? Probably not. Would I give it a go if I had the means to do so? Absolutely. The thought that this thing I enjoyed doing is so out of reach for me to even think about doing it again is so gut wrenching and painful in thought. I wish I could do it, I want to do it, I need to do it... I have to do it somehow... I have to..