Feb 08, 2022
4 mins read
Being a writer is a very tricky craft.
You’ll be taking a walk, a shower, making coffee, having a chat with a friend, and suddenly out of nowhere a spark ignites from within the depths of your mind. That spark begins to shine brighter and brighter with each passing second. It zips and zaps. Cracks and snaps.
It metamorphoses into fleeting images: a vase on a table with the rays of sun hitting it just right; a kiss between lovers under the moonlight; a line of dialogue; residue of a memory long forgotten; an orchestral track to bring it back to heart center. All these elements dance together in the cosmic depths of your mind as the sacred process of creation begins to take form.
So, you do as most writers would and open up a blank page on your laptop or notebook, and place your eager fingers on the keyboard or pen on the page and write.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen this way, and what I’ve described above is quite romanticized, but I’m a writer and I can’t help being poetic every once in a while.
For the past two weeks, ever since I began the second phase of my process with Open Gate Entertainment, I started experiencing a lack of focus and something along the lines of brain fog. It took me a few days to break through the Pilot rewrite, which I’d been very excited about. Even then, something did not feel quite right, and I kept trying to fight past my body and brain telling me to slow down.
We, as writers, get too eager to power through and are constantly bombarded with the “can do” mindset that we end up sacrificing our own mental health, well-being, and emotions for the sake of the script.
Writing is a lonely craft. Yes, we may have many characters living within us, but that is exactly what leaves us so alone. We see the world vastly differently than others. We feel more, we empathize, we understand the human experience on many levels, and due to this we are easily drained.
This is why it has been one of my greatest challenges and lessons as a writer to allow my body and my heart to do the talking.
The pressure that I’ve constantly put on myself has been very heavy and as such I’ve had to learn to relieve that pressure step by step and accept that there will be days when my body and my heart need to recharge in order to create, generate and produce.
I had to go to my Spiritual Mentor, Allison Hollister, for aid in this matter as she has become quite a great guide in terms of all things spiritual, mental, and life based. I don’t always seek her, but when I do, I know for a fact that I am in safe hands.
She reminded me of my mantra and meditation process: breathe, trust, and surrender.
Breathing helps bring you back to heart center, this in turn raises your trust in yourself and allows you to surrender to your art and let it take control; and much like the Jedi, a writer must always remember to apply these three things as much as the writer can for through them one can remain grounded, centered, and clear-minded (aka balance).
Every time I’ve done this before writing, words have flowed through me as though I were not the one writing but rather God, my Angels, and the Universe itself was taking over my very being.
Using this method has been so important to me when it comes to fighting, not just my fluctuating moods, but also my cruel and merciless inner critic that relishes in seeing me crippled rather than making strides in my passion.
So, I write this now because I am in the midst of recovering from COVID-19 and from that I realized that one of the symptoms that affected me the most has been the aforementioned brain fog mentioned and very strong sinus pressure. Both of those together negatively affected my creativity and I haven’t been able to write properly or to the standard at which I know I can when I am not sick.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I was tough on myself believing that brain fog or being sick should not be an excuse not to show up, write and knock out 5 - 10 pages of screenplay (which for me is the average amount of pages per day). I beat myself up, hated on myself, and bullied myself on top of trying to recover from COVID-19.
With that in mind, I have had to return back to my mantra, to meditation, to accepting that I am a soul in a human body that needs rest, that needs to recharge, and that needs to learn to love itself. It is quite a challenge to learn to go easy on oneself, especially in a world that is not too accepting of such a mindset and would rather condition a slave mentality rather than a sovereign one.
I, for one, want to practice a mindset of sovereignty, of self-love and celebration, and to never forget that it is a journey. It’s a marathon and not a sprint and in order for me to sustain my energy, my creativity, and my well-being, I have to always remember to breathe, trust, and surrender.