Last week, the country watched while Ketanji Brown Jackson endured idiotic questions about racist babies, the definition of the word woman and the degree of her faith. Judge Jackson took the questions in stride and answered respectfully. Her measured and careful responses ensured her assignment to the Supreme Court.
Some of those answers came after labored pauses where she gathered her thoughts. As a Black woman, I know that pause. It is the moment where I decide whether to "pop off" or maintain composure. It is the pause where I weigh the cost of destroying whatever relationship I've built.
Social media was full of comments that praised Brown on her patience. People admired her poise and reserve. They held her up as if her reaction was singular and desirable.
This past Sunday, I had the opportunity to join hosts Scott Duff and Ellen Miller on OUT Chicago. They asked me to share my thoughts on the Supreme Court Justice hearings.
Here is some of what I said:
"People want to talk about her poise and her patience as if it is an exemplary performance--And that is not to discount what she did... I think it's really important to emphasize that as a Black woman; for other Black women [the poise, the patience] that's just a Tuesday. [In other words] We do that all the time. [It is what is expected of us]...We are constantly making that calculation...Those pauses are a part of a longstanding history of what Black women have had to endure: [the idiocy, disrespect, dismissal and attempted erasure]...[Her performance] resonated so much and for so many of my Black friends but it wasn't because it was extraordinary it was because it was so familiar to us and something we encounter everyday."
"You don't have to look that far in your own life to see those moments of pause. They happen in school meetings, at the office, in board meetings, at the Dunkin Donuts... Everywhere. When you see a Black woman in that moment of pause, consider the way that you can step in; not to save her but to disrupt what is happening. Do not allow the disrespect of a Black woman to take place. Step in and leverage your power as an anti-racist so a Black woman doesn't have to risk everything she has worked for in order to defend herself appropriately.
Disrupting disrespectful behavior normalizes the defense of Black women. We create space that makes the need for Black women to defend themselves less common. And when and if disrespects occurs Black women can defend themselves without pause or repercussion.
Yes, I have thoughts about Will Smith and Chris Rock. I am still processing.