In this post, I am gonna talk about one of my Favourite books of all Time "HOW TO WIN FRIENDS & INFLUENCE PEOPLE" by DALE CARNEGIE
It's impossible to cover the book in just one post, so i am taking One Topic at a time.
And our Topic for Today is 'Criticism'
In the wise words of Dale Carnegie
“If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”
Why We Should Say No to Criticism?
1. Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.
2. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts
his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
3. B. F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behaviour will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans.
4. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment. Hans Selye, another great psychologist, said, “As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.”
5. Let’s realize that criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return.
6. “Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.” these wise words are from Abraham Lincoln.
7. “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your doorstep is unclean.”
We all know that mistakes and failures are inevitable. So, before judging others don't forget to look in the mirror.
What's the Solution?
1. When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
2. Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? “I will speak ill of no man,” he said, “… and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
4. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
5. “A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”
6. Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.
7. “To know all is to forgive all.” As Dr Johnson said: “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge a man until the end of his days.” Why should you?"