We’ve all been there… Right when you are about to take a bold leap into the unknown that nagging voice in the back of your mind appears.
“You’re not good enough”
“You don’t have the right experience or qualifications”
“Someone else is already doing this and probably better than you ever could”
BLAH. BLAH. BLAH!
The truth is, that nagging voice in your head is not even yours (even if it sounds like you).
So, how does someone learn to overcome self-doubt and start following their intuition?
Here are 9 ways to start building new neural pathways that are connected to high self-worth and an unwavering belief in your capabilities.
DECONSTRUCT YOUR THOUGHT PATTERNS
How many thoughts do you have in a day? Impossible to quantify no doubt, and many of our thoughts pop up without our conscious awareness. In order to release the power self-doubt has had over you, it is essential to deconstruct your thought and look at them with a more critical lens. You are not your thoughts. Especially not the negative ones.
By creating space between the truest most authentic version of yourself and the limiting thoughts that don’t serve you, you can finally take them out of the driver’s seat and start steering your own ship.
HAVE A BEGINNERS MINDSET
Becoming free of limiting beliefs is uncharted territory for many of us. By having a beginners or students mindset you can embrace the world with childlike wonder and curiosity, instead of fear and low self-worth. Can you think back to how you behaved as a young child? Climbing trees, riding your bike as fast as you could, creating fantasy worlds from your imagination?
I can remember being at an age before fear and shame took hold and I seemed capable of so much. This is evident in the fact that now, as an adult, I no longer seem able to roller skate, skateboard, or build blanket forts like a pro. Having a beginners mind is to let go of the fear of shame or embarrassment which is often where many limiting beliefs creep in….Practice curiosity.
LET GO OF EGO AND FEAR
This is a big one. Self-doubt and limiting beliefs are essentially the manifestations of a fragile ego, and we all have it. People can easily rationalise their self-doubt by claiming it to be wise or informed decision making, but in reality, it’s often just a symptom of fear of the unknown. Don’t get me wrong, removing the leash of self-doubt on your life is scary, but if you follow step one, you can create enough space from the fear and ego-based reactions to allow for far greater ways of being in the worlds to come through.
Letting go of ego and fear-based response requires reflection on what might be triggering fo you. Do you think others have it better than you? or, that others have it easier in life? This comparative thoughts all stem from a place of ego. There is no need for shame, we all have an ego and have had these reactions throughout life, but becoming aware of how these thoughts are only holding you back is essential in overcoming them.
Write a list of 10 things you want to accomplish or do. This can be anything from career goals, social activities, health and fitness goals, and so on. Now, get super clear about what on this list is most important to you in the immediate future. Circle the top 3-5 things on this list. Then try and hone in on what is the number one thing you most want right now, just one. Once you have this clarity you are well on your way to kicking self-doubts ass.
Now that you know what is most important for you right now, I want you to forget everything else on your list. Often times we succumb to self-doubt because we put too much on our plate. Be realistic with yourself and your time. Whatever that one thing is that you selected, let it be your north star. For example, if having a healthy diet ranked highest on your list, then focus on that until you have overcome limiting beliefs and created a new identity around personal health and then move on to the next thing on your list.
CREATE AN AVATAR
Using celebrities or people that you admire can be a helpful tool in creating a new identity that is no longer associated with limiting beliefs. What qualities do you want to embody? What would your highest self look like, talk like, or dress like? This can be a really fun exercise to hone in on the type of person you want to be. By creating a mental image which you can align yourself it can take some of the confusion out of the “be your best self” jargon. Once you have an avatar in your mind, you will want to change the language you have been using to describe yourself for years.
When I was a kid in school I had the limiting belief that I was stupid. This was largely influenced by my grade 5 teacher who kept failing me for no reason combined with being bullied and having an older brother who everyone described as a genius. Because I had this belief, I would often refer to myself as a “stupid idiot.” However, when I went to high school, with all new teachers and classmates, I discovered that I was actually really clever, often landing in the top 10 per cent in maths and English. I went on to graduate high school with honours and attend the top university in Canada. What also coincided with this academic shift was how I talked about myself. Sure, there are lots of things I don’t know, but negative self-talk won’t make me any wiser. Creating an avatar of your highest self, aligning with this identity, and most importantly, changing the language you use about yourself will create the necessary shift toward your highest self.
LOOK AT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Who you spend your time with has a big influence on the beliefs you have about yourself and what you think is possible. If you are surrounding yourself with people who feel like there are no jobs, no potential for entrepreneurs, and generally have a lack-mentality, it’s going to be very hard for you to strive for more.
This can be family or friends and although it might not be possible to fully remove yourself from some people who are holding you back, it is possible to create space. You can also start looking to others for inspiration. Analyzing your relationships can be daunting, as it brings up fears of abandonment or being alone. Trust that you have all the resources you need to create necessary space between you and the people you are outgrowing. By doing so you are creating the potential for more expansive people to come through.
SHOW UP CONSISTENTLY
Consistency is key when it comes to breaking free of the shackles of limiting beliefs. Much like building a new habit, which researchers say takes about 21 days of consistency to form, building confidence and a relationship to your intuition is very much the same. “Do it scared anyway,” is what I often tell myself.
This blog is an excellent example of this 7th step. Every Tuesday for months I have published a lo post. some weeks I have felt super inspired by a topic to share and other time I felt overwhelmed with self doubt it felt impossible to type anything. However, I showed up anyway because I simply didn’t have an excuse good enough not to do it, and for me, fear is no longer an excuse I can justify.
STOP ASKING FOR OTHERS OPINIONS
This was a hard one for me to break especially coming from a codependent mother/daughter bond. However, breaking the habit of relying on the opinions of others in your decision making is key to start connecting to your inner wisdom. Plus, when we ask others opinions often what happens is their own limiting beliefs are unintentionally projected onto us, compounding the effects of our own self-doubt.
No one knows what is truly right for you except for you. Of course, at times you might want to collaborate or inquire the expertise of someone wiser than you, this is all good, but remember not to hold on to these opinions too tightly. By breaking the habit of relying on others for every tiny decision you have to make you are sending the signal to your higher self that you trust yourself above all else.
ALWAYS FOLLOW ‘PINGS’
I first heard about intuitive ‘Pings’ from manifestation experts Lacy Philips founder of To Be Magnetic. She describes Intuition as, “Downloads or pings we receive as deep knowings that come to the forefront of our consciousness to aid in connecting back to our truest, most authentic self.” Pings are “Hits of intuition that tell you to do a specific thing, go to a specific place, etc. Your intuitive roadmap, if you will.”
Although I had always felt that my intuition was quite strong, I had a hard time feeling any pings. This is because for years I had ignored these intuitive hits often to disastrous effects. However, recently small pings have started to arise like taking a certain path through the woods or picking up some litter I found while hiking. Following these small pings have helped me build a relationship with my intuition and I’m happy to say that by doing so many of the things I’ve been trying to manifest are starting to come through.