Hi y'all!
As many of you know, I've been going through a divorce and things are coming to a bit of an end, which is very stressful for me. This is delaying a lot of orders. I really can't overstate that things for me have been rough. I keep thinking that I'm pulling out of it and then I get yanked back down (especially with these recent tragedies in TX & OK, USA), and it's just been a very tough struggle. I don't mean to neglect my messages or orders, it's just been very tough to do anything let alone face work and explain to people why things are late.
The divorce's final hearing basically brought the gavel down onto the mediation agreement and made it real, and part of that agreement is my termination of parental rights. My ex & I, for separate and different reasons, do not want to even be in the same room as each other, and for this main reason, the termination was put forward. I haven't seen my children in person for many years but I had always had hope that I would, and so I've been mourning that hope, and mourning the possible relationship with my children that I could have had. Though things are going unspoken, I hope y'all can understand I would not have terminated my rights if I had felt there were any other viable paths moving forward. That it came to this despite all my best efforts is a harrowing loss.
I am attempting to get back on my feet, and I would like to think that maybe this time it'll happen. I am very sorry for all the inconveniences that this has caused, and I cannot put into words how bad I feel that I've let y'all down and just have truly just... I've really dropped the ball. I don't want to use what I'm going through as an excuse, but it's just been very hard to work on healing and find a way to be okay when I've been in so much pain. I couldn't seem to hurt and heal at the same time. At the same time, I couldn't seem to do any of this emotional/spiritual process while staring at what I had to get done on Etsy. I've been really just.... Overwhelmed and I've been drowning in this past month. I could not begin to help others until I helped myself, the metaphorical "put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others" came to mind.
I don't really have many more updates, but I am trying. I don't want to waste y'alls time by babbling in circles. I do want y'all to know I am unbelievably sorry that y'all have gotten caught up in my mess, and I hope y'all can forgive me.
♥Mad