“Leon, there’s nothing in the water.”
“Yes, there is, and it’s going to eat us.”
“No, there isn’t, and please put the gun away. You’re making my team nervous.”
“Hardison is literally waving his dick at me. Can I shoot it? Looks like a parasite.”
“Hey!”
Chris Redfield rolled his eyes. Still looking indignant, Hardison scurried into the lake. Leon Kennedy ignored him. He had more important things in mind. Leon kept a careful eye on the water, not letting go of his pistol. Both hands remained firmly wrapped around the gun’s grip, finger not far from the trigger but far enough to avoid shooting off Hardison’s parasitic dick on accident. Leon felt Chris’s judgment heavy in the air between them but didn’t care about that, either. Maybe a little curious how Chris would react if Leon pulled out some other weaponry but that was it. What the hell was Chris thinking allowing this?
“Everyone is filthy from that damned swamp,” Chris said, in an all-too-familiar tone. The tone that said he was trying not to raise his voice or pull out a cigarette and he was being very brave and indulgent by not doing so.
“I was there,” Leon agreed. “At the swamp, in the swamp because some monster straight out of a kinky horror movie attacked us. I remember.”
“Yeah,” Chris said. The tone shifted into something tired and droll. “You were the one who blew it to pieces, because being covered in swamp water and who knows what else wasn’t enough.”
Leon smiled brightly, still studying the territory. Seemed calm enough but the lack of birds could be construed as suspicious. Or maybe that was expected because of course BSAA soldiers would be this noisy even when bathing. “I try to be helpful. Earn my consultant pay and all that.”
Chris’s right eye twitched a little. Leon thought he saw the beginnings of some grey hair sprout. It was a shame that even after all this time, neither he nor Claire had managed to turn that man grey. If it was anyone else, Leon would have suspected dye.
“Well, it’s time for someone else to earn their pay.” Chris gestured at the soldiers behind him. One was Nadia, holding a gun at least her size, and for some reason all but naked except for her combat boots and weaponry. Leon thought the metal had to chafe, but Nadia didn’t seem to notice. He could see her assessing the area, which was a relief, all the while pointing at her bare breasts and pointing at another naked soldier jogging toward the lake. After a moment, Leon understood: the soldier’s chest was bigger than hers. He glanced quickly at Chris. He thought Chris’s chest might be the biggest in the area. “If something appears, trust me: Nadia will be more than happy to shoot it.”
Nadia caught Leon looking her way and waved. Then she pointed at the man now entering the lake, then back at her own chest, dramatically rolling her eyes. Leon shrugged and jerked a thumb toward Chris. After a moment’s assessment, she nodded in agreement. Chris’s chest was a little insane.
It was also leaving Leon feeling a little overdressed. Besides Nadia’s partner and four other soldiers spread around the lake, everyone else was naked. Including Chris, and Leon was finding himself growing more tempting to poke a boob, just to see how he reacted. Fuck it, though. He was more than content to remain dressed and armed to the teeth.
“So you see,” Chris continued, oblivious to the silent conversation, “there’s no need --”
Another naked soldier jogged past. Leon’s breath caught. Maybe the man’s chest wasn’t as big and broad as Chris’s and nothing could compare to the rest of the man’s size, but fuck, Leon thought those sculpted muscles and amazing six-pack was far, far more attractive. It took everything in Leon to keep his eyes from dipping lower than that six-pack.
“Not in yet, Leon?” Piers Nivans asked cheerfully. He jogged past them, slowing just enough for the change in speed to be visible. Piers’s face was flushed and Leon couldn’t help but note just how far that flush went down. “C’mon! The water looks fantastic!”
Nodding at Chris, Piers passed them to dive into the water, splashing several other soldiers as he did so. They shouted in playful complaint, like they hadn’t been splashing each other for the last ten minutes. Piers surfaced and shook the water from his face, hair spiking. Water dripped down his face, down his long neck, and slid from his chest into the water. Leon swallowed.
“You’re right,” Chris said, suddenly sounding cheerful. Leon barely noticed, watching Piers splash the other soldiers and laugh. “The water looks absolutely terrifying. I can see why you’re avoiding it.”
Smartass. Like Leon hadn’t seen him with his crush.
Piers raised his arms and ran his hands through his wet hair, pushing it back from his face. His biceps gleamed in the warm afternoon sunlight. Leon couldn’t remember drooling over someone this much even when he was a horny teenager getting laid in the back of his first girlfriend’s car.
“Truly terrifying,” Chris said, far too smug for a man who was baring everything for the local mosquitoes to feast on.
Dragging his gaze from Piers, feeling a little flushed himself, Leon huffed. There was an amazingly witty comment on his tongue, perfect for wiping that grin off his friend’s face. Then the rest of Chris’s crew finally arrived and that witty comment died.
Whooping and shouting like they had never seen water before in their life, over a dozen BSAA soldiers ran past him, far too many things flapping and shining in the breeze. Leon froze, a parade of color, among other things, darting past him. At last, everyone was in the water, splashing the other soldiers and laughing.
“Yeah,” Leon said faintly. “Truly terrifying.”
The unsympathetic bastard beside him cackled as Leon mourned his poor, poor eyes. “Oh, c’mon, Leon. The water’s calling us. Let’s go.”
Leon grimaced and glanced at the noisy BSAA soldiers. If there were any BOWs left in the area, they were graciously calling them to one location. They might as well wave flags while they were waving… everything else.
If any level of prudishness had survived the police academy, working for the US government and dealing with years of decontamination procedures had killed off the traces. Yet Leon couldn’t understand how so many soldiers felt comfortable stripping themselves in an area with a known BOW infestation. Not only were they defenseless, they were in a body of water with limited visibility and even less maneuverability even if they did keep a weapon close. Leon couldn’t understand how casual they were about it. There was absolutely no way Leon was --
Piers raised himself out of the water a little so his entire muscled chest was bare, water streaming down and making the tanned skin gleam. “C’mon, Leon!” he called. He was grinning, the charming flushing extending all the way to his perky nipples. “Hop in already!”
There was absolutely no way Leon was going into that water and leave all of his weapons on the shore.
Goddammit.
“Hold on,” Leon called back, resigned to his fate.
Carefully, he undressed, making sure he knew exactly where everything was if he needed to hurry back to shore. He made sure to keep his knife and its holster off to the side. When everything else was put on a safe, dry rock, Leon put the knife and its holster on his bare thigh. It chafed a little but nothing like sliding over the ground after a BOW threw him.
“Please leave that on the shore,” Hardison pleaded from the water. Leon ignored him.
As the other soldiers teased Hardison, Leon swiftly slipped into the water. He only paused long enough to splash Chris in the face before swimming toward Piers. So far, there seemed to be nothing moving in the water that wasn’t attached to a human. The sheer noise and activity from the soldiers hid other possible signs of a creature hiding in the water.
All the more reason to remain focused, but it was hard to remember that when Piers greeted him with a bright grin and “I can wash your back for you.”
At this rate, Leon wouldn’t need a BOW to attack him to drown.
“Sure,” Leon managed. If his voice sounded odd, it was only because he was trying to avoid any water splashing into his mouth.
The water was surprisingly cool considering Piers’s flush, but it was hard to care as Leon swam closer to Piers. The soldiers were still playing and splashing and loud around them. Still, Leon swore their small space was quiet as he turned his back to Piers. The earlier BOW had dragged him into that disgusting swamp, so Leon knew filth probably stained him from head to toe. He had been willing to wait until they reached someplace safe, but as Piers and the BSAA soap touched his back, Leon thought he could be flexible this time. In the name of teamwork or something. There was a term for it, and he would care later, when Piers was no longer naked behind him and touching him.
“I swear you’re cleaner than the rest of us,” Piers murmured. His nails raked gently down Leon’s back. It took every ounce of experience and training Leon had to not shudder.
“I was the one behind the rocket launcher, not in front of it,” Leon agreed.
Piers chuckled. His hands moved slowly in circles against Leon’s back. Leon stared at where he left his gear on the shore, not seeing a damned thing. “Yeah. I noticed. So did everyone else. Where did you even keep that thing?”
“I have my ways.”
Piers’s hands paused, splayed against Leon’s shoulder bones. Two spots of warmth amidst the cool water. Leon wanted to purr. “...where did you put it, anyway?”
When Leon arched his back, Piers resumed rubbing his back. Surely his back had to be clean already, but who was Leon to rush it? Besides, maybe he could… “Don’t worry about it. Can you check my hair while you’re back there? I hate when guts and bone fly into it.”
Obligingly, those warm, clever hands slid up Leon’s back. Short nails gently scratched Leon’s neck before Piers’s fingers dug into his hair. Leon had to focus on not drowning when Piers rubbed his scalp. Oh fuck. “Looks good.” Piers’s voice was low, scratchy. Enough for Leon to wish the water was a little cold. “I’ll be thorough. Just in case.”
This was almost enough to make Leon change his mind about suspicious bodies of water. Or proof that he had already been dragged under by a nasty beast and his mind was dealing with the trauma of drowning with this lovely fantasy. One of those. “You are good about being thorough,” Leon agreed mindlessly, gaze roaming where the other soldiers needed no BOWs: they were trying to drown each other. How that was helping anyone get clean, he had no idea.
“You think I’m thorough?” Piers attempted to sound casual. Leon let him have it, allowing himself to be distracted by Piers’s short nails scratching his scalp. Oh, that felt nice. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had done that for him.
“Hmm-hmm. I saw you take out those two BOWs near Chris earlier. Thanks for that.”
Piers cleared his throat and his hands slid away from Leon’s hair. He tugged once at the ends before returning to Leon’s back. Leon almost groaned. “Well. Someone has to watch his back.”
“You’re also very good at backs.” Piers was no longer even pretending to wash Leon’s back. His thumbs dug into the stiff muscles of Leon’s shoulders and around his spine. Leon bit his inner cheek to keep from moaning.
“Well.” Piers moved a little closer in the water, sending small waves rippling against Leon’s skin. Something hard brushed Leon’s ass. Leon’s breath caught. “I’m good at more than backs.”
Fuck, fuck. No one was paying attention to them, but Leon had no idea how he was going to get out of the water without embarrassing the hell out of himself. He hadn’t had a problem like this since high school.
However, that was a problem for future!Leon. “As fun as this lake thing is,” Leon returned, subtly moving backward against Piers, “my shower is much warmer and with less chance of leeches.” He paused. This close, Piers’s hands were pinned between Leon’s back and his own chest. A far more important part of Piers’s anatomy was tucked snugly against him, and oh, Leon wanted to get more acquainted with that. “It also comes with an extendable, high pressure showerhead. You know. For those hard to reach places.”
Piers shuddered. He nudged his hips against Leon in a terrible tease. “You think we could find somewhere in this lake to hide? Everyone’s busy. No one would notice.”
That sounded like a terrible idea. If anyone asked, Leon turned around to inform Piers of that, not to look around for an ideal spot for… hiding.
Instead, he saw what looked suspiciously like a fin heading their way.
At least that would distract everyone from the boners Leon and Piers had.
“Later,” Leon sighed, pulling back. He grabbed his knife from his thigh holster. “First we need to take care of this thing and prepare my I told you so for Chris.”
Even as Piers turned and sounded the alarm, Leon admired the man’s back and broad shoulders. Okay, fine. Maybe swimming in bodies of water in enemy territory had its perks…
Because watching Piers Nivans fight a mutated swordfish in the nude was straight out of those BSAA pornos Leon absolutely never watched online. Hot damn.
“I’m the one with a weapon, you idiot!” Leon shouted, swimming forward. “Hold on!”
Nothing in the water his ass.
Or. Well. Piers’s sweet, sweet, toned ass.