Vanessa Vella
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Asking For and Receiving Help

Asking For and Receiving Help

Sep 28, 2021

So many of us struggle with asking for help, or even receiving it when it’s offered. What’s the deal? 🤔
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There are lots of different reasons why almost all of us seem to have this struggle, and it’s worth a deep dive into the origins of those beliefs. But the good news is that you can move forward even if you don’t know the whole backstory! ➡️
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🧲 Do the Opposite! (Hey, it works!): I have the tendency to hunker down and avoid all the helpful people in my life when the going gets tough. So I trained myself to do the opposite. Now I reach out when I feel the urge to hide. It makes accepting help a lot easier because people know I need it! Plus making the decision before it’s ‘go time’ takes away the opportunity for your mind to negotiate you out of the new, different action you want to take. That frees up mental energy for actually doing the thing, and that’s smart and efficient (good for you!) 
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👭 It’s all for Them!: People love making themselves useful (especially to people they care about). We want to feel like we are making an impact, we are important, and that we can be effective in getting shit done (shit like helping people we love!). And if helping someone else is good for us (something most of us believe anyway), then allowing someone else to help us is good for them (and us!). You don’t want to deny others the many benefits of helping you, do you?? (I’m gonna go ahead and assume no). So share the warm, fuzzy feelings by allowing others to help you!
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👩‍🔬 Safe-to-Fail Experiments: Cool ideas are good, but at some point in time you gotta do the thing. New habits are based on consistently repeated behaviors (oh hey, #neuroplasticity!). We are amazing at making new things feel way too complicated or difficult or both. That’s where safe-to-fail experiments come in: choose some low stakes situations and give it a go. Try it when it ‘doesn’t matter’ so that when it does matter, you can do what you need in that moment and rise to the occasion of allowing yourself to be helped 
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🎙Bonus Tip: if you’re comfortable, be honest and share that this is a new and hard thing for you. “Yes I’d love your help. It’s hard for me to accept help, so it means a lot because it helps me work on his new habit, too.” Chances are, they might feel the very same way 
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How do you feel about asking for or receiving help? What has worked for you so far? Let me know in the comments!👇
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#askingforhelp #recievinghelp #selfcare #vulnerability #honesty #habits #perspective #change #personalgrowth

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