Jan 17, 2020
“I love this world because it is imperfect. It is imperfect, and that's why it is growing; if it was perfect it would have been dead. Growth is possible only if there is imperfection. I would like you to remember again and again, I am imperfect, the whole universe is imperfect, and to love this imperfection, to rejoice in this imperfection is my whole message.” ― Osho
Well, what am I then, JULIAN?
I don't know.
You tell me: absent your thoughts, WHAT OR WHO ARE YOU?
Not dead that's for sure.
Q. Where do you go when you're in a deep sleep?
A. Not knowing?
(More bloody riddles, eh!)
I love a good debate -- not really -- but when it comes to the established order, I'm expressed not to take what I've been told as true. Instead, as best I know, I've followed my path. If it was any different, I'd have done what I was told:
"Shut up Julian, and be a good boy."
"Take a long walk on a short pier."
"Go play with the yellow lines in the middle of the road."
"Children should be seen and not heard."
"Do as you're told."
"Don't argue with me."
"Why are you so awkward."
"You're so contrary."
Guilty as charged.
Not that I need any accolades, but I've got a few scars to show for not sitting on the fence.
But of course, I've had no choice but to push the envelope.
Because I've been stuck with a few -- a very few -- questions that will never and have never been answered by keeping quiet:
Who am I?
What is this?
Why am I here?
For as long as I can remember, I've been obsessed with understanding the mind. In the beginning, I thought I could trick it into making me (and the whole f_ Universe...!) happy. I quickly, but not quickly enough, gave that up in favour of self-enquiry, all sparked off by reading the Heart Sutra:
“Listen Sariputra, this Body itself is Emptiness and Emptiness itself is this Body. This Body is not other than Emptiness and Emptiness is not other than this Body. The same is true of Feelings, Perceptions, Mental Formations, and Consciousness."
And then my life unfolded or should I say dropped away.
Does that mean I live in constant bliss?
No. I live with thoughts coming and going but there's no attachment. How could there be when there's no one here (hee, hee) to be attached to them.
At this stage, you'll probably think me drunk or smoking crack cocaine. I'm not and haven't.
Yes, I like a drink but I'm stone-cold sober and have never touched drugs.
OK, JULIAN, HOW DOES THIS NO-MIND SH*T HELP ME?
It won't; but then again, how can you search for something you already are?
One last thing. Before I weave another prolix story out of nothingness, here's one final question for you to consider (thank you to Robert Wolfe for the insight):
"How would you describe what it is that you are looking for?"
Now I realise that's a bit adrift to the rubric to this BMC post but then again, isn't it your thoughts that stop you seeing what really is?
Blessings ❤️, Ju
Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash