Tears streamed down my face, fogging up my glasses.

I couldn't see where I was going, but all I knew was that I had to get out of here.

That I wanted to be anywhere else but here.

My stomach turned and I began dry heaving, but no vomit came.

I felt dizzy. My head felt wrong. I couldn't focus. My eyes stung.

I tried to breathe in and out but my chest was too heavy.

The heat built up around me.

I had to get out. Now.

My confused steps got quicker and turned into running until I descended upon the stairwell. Stair upon stair. Step upon step. Until I reached the bottom.

I made my way to the back door and placed my hand hard down on the handle.

With two hard pushes the handle released and the door sprung open.

I was met by the cold night's air. I gulped down the oxygen as I stepped outside.

My knees buckled and I crashed to the floor.

Don't look back, my inner voice screamed.

I got up, and steadied my feet.

I took my glasses off and wiped them on the sleeve of my hoodie. It would leave streaks but at least I would be able to see.

What had just happened? Was I really just there? Was this real?

I shook it out of my head as tears threatened to fall again.

No. Don't.

I continued to walk down the street.

I passed person after person; going about their normal evenings. Living their normal lives.

How could they be so calm, so oblivious, so unaware?

I envied them. I wished that I could go back to being as clueless as them.

But I couldn't. I could never go back. I had opened up something that I could never close.

Where did I go from here? How could life ever be normal again?

Unanswered questions roared around my head as I continued to walk into the night.

Life as I knew it, life as everyone knew it was over and this was only the beginning. And it was all my fault.