One year ago today, my body shut down and never started again. Yea, crazy.
Two months after the onset of my symptoms, two months of being on and off crutches thinking I just had a damaged nerve in my back. Boy, we’re we wrong.
I got to homecoming, KT tape supporting my back, hip, knee, and ankle. Even that wasn’t enough. I got to the dance. I was so excited. We walked in the gate, sat down with our friends, and I never got up again.
I called my Grandma, told her I desperately needed the crutches and some strong pain meds- the nerve pain has become unbearable. I stayed at the dance, but just sat watching- trying not to cry in pain.
Eventually, like a hour after the dance started, I told my boyfriend we needed to leave. I was super disappointed and annoyed at my body for acting up. We went back to his house and he carried me inside, setting me on the couch. He brings me my sweatshirt and sweatpants and gives me some time to change while he prepares ice cream. Ice cream always helps a little. But by then, my mind was so foggy it was unreal. Everything was floating and it felt like I was in a dream. Like two hours later, the meds had finally kicked in and I decided to go home. Little did I know, the last time I’d be able to drive normally had already passed. I made it halfway home before pulling over in extreme pain, calling my Grandma yet again because I couldn’t even make it home.
My leg was gone- and it never came back. Sure, there have been some improvements over the past year, like being back on two feet. But there’s so much more that goes into moving independently than just being able to stand. Muscle tremors, paralysis, paraparesis, balance issues, nerve pain, and so much more.
The past year has been a rollercoaster- one I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But here I am, and as I post more of these I’m hoping to become more emotionally raw and share more and more of my story.
With love,
Mikayla