Tears streamed down my face, fogging up my glasses.
I couldn't see where I was going, but all I knew was that I had to get out of here.
That I wanted to be anywhere else but here.
My stomach turned and I began dry heaving, but no vomit came.
I felt dizzy. My head felt wrong. I couldn't focus. My eyes stung.
I tried to breathe in and out but my chest was too heavy.
The heat built up around me.
I had to get out. Now.
My confused steps got quicker and turned into running until I descended upon the stairwell. Stair upon stair. Step upon step. Until I reached the bottom.
I made my way to the back door and placed my hand hard down on the handle.
With two hard pushes the handle released and the door sprung open.
I was met by the cold night's air. I gulped down the oxygen as I stepped outside.
My knees buckled and I crashed to the floor.
Don't look back, my inner voice screamed.
I got up, and steadied my feet.
I took my glasses off and wiped them on the sleeve of my hoodie. It would leave streaks but at least I would be able to see.
What had just happened? Was I really just there? Was this real?
I shook it out of my head as tears threatened to fall again.
No. Don't.
I continued to walk down the street.
I passed person after person; going about their normal evenings. Living their normal lives.
How could they be so calm, so oblivious, so unaware?
I envied them. I wished that I could go back to being as clueless as them.
But I couldn't. I could never go back. I had opened up something that I could never close.
Where did I go from here? How could life ever be normal again?
Unanswered questions roared around my head as I continued to walk into the night.
Life as I knew it, life as everyone knew it was over and this was only the beginning. And it was all my fault.