~This is my own experience and the thoughts and feelings I had from the situation. I do my best to see the positive in the negative.~
I want to share one of my experiences with you. Recently, I found myself in a position where I was doubting my Patron god, even considering that I am working with an imposter.
I work with the Norse god Loki; he is my Patron, and I wished to speak with other people who follow this path, to talk about the Chaos that is the god Loki. Perhaps that was my mistake. The more time I spent in this group chat, the more I realized that nearly everyone there had the same experiences and opinions. Though there is a likelihood of this happening, there is a small chance that everyone in a community of 50 to 70 members would all have the same experiences. Later reflection leads me to believe that there may be one person (or several persons) leading the group, and they make it the norm to agree with everything they say.
That morning I was discussing the possibility that Loki does not necessarily believe in romantic love. The Loki I work with has made it clear that he finds that love makes fools of most humans. Though perhaps I had misinterpreted what I meant, it felt as though I had offended many people. I was immediately barraged with a wall of “Loki loves his wife very much” and “Loki married Sigyn because he loved her, what’s your source?” By the time this conversation was over, I doubted that I am truly connecting with Loki and it had been suggested that I was not, in fact, working with Loki, but with “a Trickster pretending to be The Trickster”.
If I had not had that conversation, I would not have gone to do further research, I would have not sought to broaden my mind if only to justify my argument. What we have to remember when working with deities, higher beings, angels, spirits, we are not working with something absolute. These beings are thousands if not millions of years old. They would have learned to adapt to situations and people. Though I believe (and have seen) that these entities are drawn to certain types of people, they would show a part of themselves that resonates with the person they have chosen. We must also not forget that Christian Monks wrote the tales and stories of the Norse and the Celtic Druids. So, who's to say that the legends we know now were not doctored to remove or add details?
Doubt keeps us on our toes, it means that we are open to new ideas and to learn more on the subject. If we don’t have doubts then we have stagnated on our path and stopped discovering fresh ideas and perspectives of certain things. The paths of Wicca, Witchcraft, and Paganism are paths of constant learning. So the next time you doubt something, go do some extra research, go find new resources or return to an old one you may not remember fully, after all, you have to read a book at least 3 times before you understand its meaning completely.
Blessed Be
-Izabelle